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ashes, ashes, we all fall down

coming into ash wednesday, i went back in forth in my mind about the idea of getting the symbolic ash mark on my forehead. this is never something i had needed to consider before and i was intrigued. in ash wednesdays past, i have been one of those people strangely drawn to stare at anyone with the forehead marking. i understand what it represents but i was torn. torn because on the one hand, the bible tells us not to make a big scene of our fasting or praying or other acts--for the sake of being seen--but that our Father in heaven sees and rewards and that if we are doing it to be seen we need to check our hearts. on the other hand, baptism, a very significant gesture and sign in the life of a christ-follower is all about being an outward declaration to the world of the direction and posture of your life in Christ. really, honestly, despite all this holy talk, my vanity was really about to get the best of me. did i really want that ashy stuff on my foreheard all day? did i want the strange looks and the questions from the kids in the neighborhood? did i want to have to explain it over and over, perhaps even to people to whom explanations really didn't matter?
but as i sat there in the beginning of the ash wednesday service, a stronger thought came to me-- I NEED THIS. i not only need everything that is represented by this ash, this sign, this season, but i NEED this shot to my vanity. if lent is everything it's cracked up to be, then it's a set aside time to focus on our repentance...and our ability to rest in the finished work of Christ on the cross. it is a time for me to choose, to attempt, to admit i fail at putting aside my vanity YET all the while rejoice in Christ's unconditional forgiveness. i needed this reminder, this sign that stared back at me every time i looked in the mirror today. i need to be reminded that i AM set apart. and frankly, if explaining an ashy smudge on my forehead was the strongest sign of Christ to those around me today, then taking up my cross daily compelled me to do it. was i really about to choose my own vanity over an outward sign of my faith? isn't that what this is all about?

people of God, come now in the spirit of penitence, and receive on your head in ashes the sign of the cross, the symbol of our mortality, a symbol of the cost of sin, and yet the sign of our salvation and promise of eternal life.

ain't that just the kicker??!?! that one smudge represents my mortality, the cost of my sin AND YET the sign of my salvation and promise of eternal life. as if my wearing of the ash had ANYthing at all to do with accomplishing anything. my world boils down to how the ash will match or clash with my current day's outfit when in TRUTH and reality, the ash actually represents all that has already and forever been done to absolve me of my own self-full-ness, the illusion of the earth's orbit around me. amazing. i could wear the ash or not, it truly changes naught. God's mercy has been activated once and for all....and all i am thinking about is the pore-clogging-factor.

remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.

May our fasting be hunger for justice; our alms, a making of peace; our prayer, the chant of humble and grateful hearts.

the pastor spoke of the lenten tradition of fasting and sacrifice. he reminded us that the emphasis is not on giving up bad things. those bad things, of course, are actually to be given up all year long. no, the point of this fast is not to give up those things that lead us into sin or temptation but to give up good things...for the sake of seeing what's better. i indulge in chocolate and my enjoyment often ends at the chocolate for chocolate's sake. however, this time of pensiveness and abstinence pushes me to think of where that chocolate's goodness comes from...it forces me to remember that for all the goodness of the gift, the Giver is inherently and infinitely better.

were the whole realm of nature mine, that were an offering far too small; love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul , my life, my all.

teach us Lord to count our days, that we may gain a wise heart. satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, so that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. through Christ, our Lord. amen.

Rend your heart
and not your garments.
Return to the LORD your God,
for he is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and abounding in love,
and he relents from sending calamity. (joel 2. 13)

Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,
O God of my salvation,
and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.
O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. (psalm 51.14-17)

bearing shame and scoffing rude, in my place condemned he stood, sealed my pardon with his blood, Hallelujah! What a Savior!
Guilty, vile, and helpless we; spotless Lamb of God was he; full atonement! Can it be?
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Go in peace, remembering that you are but dust and ashes and unworthy of being called the people of God. But also remember that, you who were no people, God by His love and grace has made a people, children of his own household. Let us go forth in humility to be Christ to the world.

family vacation!

as many of you know, my family recently ventured to the other side of the world (the antipodes as my mom was fond of saying) for an adventure-vacation in australia and new zealand. this was our first family vacation in about 10 years and we had a blast! you can go here to check out the pictures, which pretty much tell the story.

here's the breakdown of the trip...
day 1: arrived in sydney, australia after 18 hours of flying. i was glad to get off that plane! apparently sunlight helps stave off jet lag so my family kept me in the sun while we strolled through the botanic gardens in the center of sydney. later that day we took a tour of the sydney opera house and then watched a performance of the christmastime favorite, the nutcracker.
day 2: while mom and brother andrew enjoyed a ferry ride around sydney harbor, my dad and i did some more walking to get some good photos of the opera house and harbor bridge. then we met my mom and brother at the taronga zoo on the other side of the harbor. we mostly stuck to the australian animal exhibit so we saw the kangaroos, emu, koalas, wombats, and other native beasts. we had a delicious lunch with a great view of the sydney harbor. that evening we made our way over to bondi beach which is a popular surfing destination and enjoyed some tasty fare overlooking the ocean.
day 3: we flew from sydney to christchurch, new zealand. did you know that new zealand has a north and a south island? well christchurch is the largest city on the south island, with a population of approximately 400,000. it's a quaint town with lots of pretty english-style gardens. unfortunately, our dinner that night took about 3 hours to hit the table so if you visit christchurch, plan to eat somewhere other than pescatore in the george hotel.
day 4: we picked up the tranz scenic train in christchurch for the cross-country trip to greymouth. the train ride was bumpy but the scenery was amazing. we went through 19 tunnels! they even had an observation car that was completely open on top and sides for optimal viewing. we had a nice lunch in greymouth, hopped in our rental suv and started the drive to fox glacier. we had this cool gps-tour-guide system hooked up in our car. it was connected to a satellite so it always knew our coordinates on the map and would give us narration that fit according to where we were or the town we were passing through. this was so cool! there were several times where our guide, jonathan, drew our attention to various aspects of the landscape or background of the area that we otherwise would not have known! plus we learned some neat maori legends.
day 5: in the morning we hiked to see fox glacier. in the afternoon we hiked around lake matheson, which (on a clear day) has great reflections of the mountains behind. unfortunately it was a little cloudy so we had some great reflections of the clouds.
day 6: after breakfast looking out on mount cook (nz's highest peak) we made our way towards queenstown. we heard all about the adrenaline-pumping activites to be enjoyed in queenstown, though i made a mental note take the leisure route instead.
day 7: first day in queenstown. while mom and andrew braved a jet boat ride on the dart river, dad and i experienced some native nz wildlife at a bird sanctuary. in the afternoon we went mini-golfing at one of the coolest mini-golf places i've ever seen. a free lollipop appears when you get the ball in the hole on #18!! that night we dined at saffron, which is apparently on the list of top restaurants in all of new zealand!
day 8--christmas: my dad and i visited an anglican church in the center of town which was full of visitors. the service was nice and i enjoyed hearing the carols sung with a new zealand accent. my mom and brother were out on a 4-wheel drive tour of the scenes from the "lord of the rings" movies. we met up for lunch where we HAD to go to an asian restaurant. we HAD to because it's christmas tradition and because...those were the only restaurants open!!
day 9: we flew to wellington, the capital of new zealand (located on the southern portion of the north island) we didnt have too much time but we visited te papa, which is a cultural and historical museum about new zealand. it was really neat! then we made our way around a windy mountain road to the wharekauhau country estate.
day 10: we had a farm tour in the morning and then relaxing in the afternoon. a nice massage topped things off! also we got to eat dinner with the other guests and it was fun to exchange various travel stories.
day 11: time to leave wharekauhau and drive through wine country to napier. it was rainy most of the day and was still raining when we arrived. they (and i dont know who they is in this case) say that napier is the art deco capital of the world but given that it's a pretty small town, it's probably more likely the art deco capital of new zealand. the whole town was rebuilt after an earthquake destroyed everything in the 1920s.
day 12: on to rotorua. we had a mid-day stop in taupo, the home of lake taupo, new zealand's biggest lake. that evening we walked around lake rotorua and observed the behavior of some BLACK swans
day 13: full day geo-culture tour since rotorua is home to many native maori people and also a lot of geothermal activity. we saw so much--boiling mud, active geysers, steaming lakes, maori carving... it was a jam-packed day!
day 14: before driving to auckland we stopped at the tourist favorite, the agrodome! we saw an "authentic" sheep show with the parade of sheep and even some on-stage shearing. it was a lot of fun and we even got to take pictures with the sheep. do you know there are at least 19 different breeds of sheep??? amazing. then in order to quench my brother's taste for more adrenaline-pumping-activities, he braved the zorb. for those who don't know, it's a giant rubber sphere and you roll around in the sphere going down a hill. it was fun to watch and he said it was fun to do! after that we hit the road. we stopped in hamilton which is the largest inland city in all of new zealand. our in-car tour guide had told us this region was notable for its dairy and beef farming so we tried the milkshakes and hamburgers. important to sample the local product! we arrived in auckland and walked around the city. then we enjoyed a lovely new year's eve dinner on the harbor. after a rousing game of family scrabble, we stepped outside our hotel and watched the fireworks from the skytower. happy 2008!! (by 12:30am we were sleeping!)
day 15: the end of new zealand...we hopped onto a plane to cross the cook strait and spend one more day in sydney. we had a nice dinner, reflected on the trip, and prepared for our long journey back to the states.
day 16: our flight departed sydney around 1pm on january 2nd and we arrived in los angeles at 8am...january 2nd!! crazy!

if you've made it this far, i'm sure you can see why this trip was so great! i would highly recommend a visit to new zealand, especially if you like beautiful scenery, unspoiled nature, and adventure activities. there's even a few things to keep you busy if you prefer to take the leisurely route =)

what am i doing?

it has come to my attention that i havent written a blog update in a while, and i havent really given an informative update on life since the "new" job began. the ironic thing is that i spend so much time checking my friend's blogs and wondering why they don't update more...all the while neglecting to update my own! well, i'm taking my turn now =)
i've gotten some questions about what it is i'm actually doing now. well, if you are a regular blog follower, then you know that, as of august 20, 2007, i became an official staff member of desire street ministries. last year was an internship where i was just placed with desire street/CURE, but this is a real job. more specifically, i'm working with a brand-new church plant called St. Roch Community Church. this church plant was born out of a desire of some core families who have lived in the st. roch/st. claude neighborhood for several years. they had been staff members at desire street ministries and returned to the city after the storm. while the desire neighborhood (desire street ministries' original focus) still looks much the same as it did right after the storm, the st. roch/st. claude neighborhoods sustained less flooding and were thus able to re-populate more quickly. st. roch is technically in the 8th ward of new orleans and st. claude is in the upper ninth ward.
when i agreed to come on staff with desire street, i knew i would be working for the new church but i have to admit that i thought the transition would be a little more drawn-out. but no. on my very first day on staff, i reported to the (under-construction) church building and was sent out to get supplies to make our one usable space suitable to be an office. it has been a crazy 2 1/2 months since then!
my official role is "church administrator." basically that means that it' s my job to keep everyone organized and the administrative aspects of the church operating smoothly. also, i've been working with the kids in the neighborhood quite a bit. i'm helping with our after-school activities, which includes helping with homework, playing games, doing arts & crafts etc. there's a FEMA trailer park right next to the church, so there are always plenty of kids hanging around. also, the church is going to be a volunteer income tax assistance (VITA) site this year and i am serving as the site coordinator. this will put my skills from NSP to good use!! i have been busy contacting universities and churches around the city to recruit volunteers, as well as putting together marketing materials for both volunteers and clients. it's gonna be busy until tax time begins!
as a young church, we're doing quite a lot. we have a monthly outreach/block party to get to know our neighbors. we've been having sunday night bible studies since february and since september we've been having a weekly prayer meetings on wednesday nights. also, our new pastor and his wife moved down in august and just last week our pastor officially passed his examination to become ordained! this is a very exciting time for the church. if you are of the praying persuasion, please keep St. Roch Community Church in your prayers, as well as the people in the community. you can check out our website (www.strochcc.org) for more specific ways to pray for and support the work of this new church!
the work of the church honestly takes up most of my time. things are going well with my roommate, melanie. she is a second-grade teacher through teachnola, working at gentilly terrace elementary school just a few miles from where we live. we've gotten to know a bunch of our neighbors and are really enjoying living on our block.

if you watch only one tv show...

...make it something other than "K-Ville."

i was actually looking forward to watching the premiere of the new Fox cop drama last night since it is being filmed in New Orleans and supposedly would have post-Katrina New Orleans as a main character. i'll just save you the suspense and tell you now i was pretty disappointed. admittedly, i'm not a big fan of the crime-drama genre to begin with, so perhaps i should have prepared myself for some of the artificial drama they would cook up. but i was under the impression that it would be more like a show reflecting the actual problems and crime that are a part of the city's reality today. but instead, the first episode was about a conspiracy theory involving a downtown casino and a private security company. maybe this is typical crime-drama fare but i didnt think new orleans was represented well.

first of all, the cop played by cole hauser supposedly came to serve on the nopd from cincinatti, after having spent time in the military. but as we find out at the end (attention, spoiler alert) he is actually a convicted criminal from new orleans. he was in prison during the storm and when it flooded, he escaped and somehow ALL the records were lost. apparently they were so thoroughly lost that he had no problem becoming a new orleans police officer. what!? thanks for adding to the image of corruption. second of all, daytime shootings in the french quarter? no. and that wont help the image of a tourist-friendly place. drive-by shootings with machine guns? no. the writers even had the nerve to suggest that you can still smell "toxic sludge" throughout the city. i'm not sure what kind of scent that is, but i have a feeling that if it was still an issue i would be able to smell it. but no. and the topper was this: in the beginning the cop played by anthony anderson said he was attending a neighbor's gumbo party. now, i am not a new orleans veteran but i have talked to some and none of us have ever heard of a gumbo party.

now i understand that it adds money to the local economy to shoot the show here, so i think that is a great thing. but will it really add sympathy (and more importantly, compassion-driven action) to new orleans' cause? will it become just another backdrop for just another crime-drama? imagining new orleans is like "k-ville" is like imagining that life in new york is like "nypd blue." if you want to know what life is like, come visit.

and if you want to know what other new orleanians had to say, check this out.