Book Corner: The Prodigal God by Tim Keller

I’ll start by saying I really liked this book.  I guess I was predisposed to liking it because I had heard about it and looked forward to finally reading it.  But it did not disappoint.  Tim Keller unpacks the familiar story of the prodigal son (Luke 15) and applies it to the whole story of the Gospel.  He really breaks it down so that each chapter of the book looks at one particular aspect of the parable—from the audience listening to Jesus, to each character in the story, to the larger lessons we can learn about our own hearts. 

He started with a definition of prodigal, which was important because if the common understanding of the “prodigal son” label implies someone irresponsible and selfish then it is somewhat alarming to couple that term with God, as in the title of the book.  But, Keller provides some insight in the books’ introduction:

    

     “The word ‘prodigal’ does not mean ‘wayward’ but, according to Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate    

     Dictionary, ‘recklessly spendthrift.’ It means to spend until you have nothing left.  This term is therefore  

     as appropriate for describing the father in the story as his younger son.  The father’s welcome to the  

     repentant son was literally reckless, because he refused to ‘reckon’ or count his sin against him or demand  

     repayment…prod-i-gal: recklessly extravagant; having spent everything. “ 

As Keller extrapolates, that word can have different connotations, depending on whose “everything” was spent, and the longer-term consequences. 

I also liked how Keller broke the story down not just as an exposition about the younger son in the parable, but rightly points to Christ’s teaching of this story about two sons.  The story is as much about the older son as it is about the younger.  I have heard some teachings in the past which included a look at both brothers, and since I most relate to the legalistic tendencies of the older, I appreciated the full treatment that Keller gives. 

Now for a smattering of some particularly good & convicting passages from the book...

Both Wrong; Both Loved (pp 44-47)

Jesus does not divide the world into the moral “good guys” and the immoral “bad guys.”  He shows us that everyone is dedicated to a project of self-salvation, to using God and others in order to get power and control for themselves.  We are just going about it in different ways.  Even though both sons are wrong, however, the father cares for them and invites them both back into his love and feast.

                This means that Jesus’ message, which is “the gospel,” is a completely different spirituality.  The gospel of Jesus is not religion or irreligion, morality or immorality, moralism or relativism, conservatism or liberalism.  Nor is it something halfway along a spectrum between two poles—it is something else altogether.

                The gospel is distinct from the other two approaches: In its view, everyone is wrong, everyone is loved, and everyone is called to recognize this and change.  By contrast, elder brothers divide the world in two: “The good people (like us) are in and the bad people, who are the real problem with the world, are out.”  Younger brothers, even if they don’t believe in God at all, do the same thing, saying: “No, the open-minded and tolerant people are in and the bigoted, narrow-mined people, who are the real problem with the world, are out.”

                But Jesus says: “The humble are in and the proud are out” (see Luke 18:14 & Luke 5:32).  The people who confess they aren’t particularly good or open-minded are moving toward God, because the prerequisite for receiving the grace of God is to know you need it.  The people who think they are just fine, thank you, are moving away from God.  “The Lord…cares for the humble, but he keeps his distance from the proud” (Psalm 138:6)…

                Although the sons are both wrong and both loved, the story does not end on the same note for each.  Why does Jesus construct the story so that one of them is saved, restored to a right relationship with the father, and one of them is not? (At least, not before the story ends.) It may be that Jesus is trying to say that while both forms of the self-salvation project are equally wrong, each one is not equally dangerous.  One of the ironies of the parable is now revealed.  The younger son’s flight from the father was crashingly obvious.  He left the father literally, physically, and morally.  Though the older son stayed at home, he was actually more distant and alienated from the father than his brother, because he was blind to his true condition.  He would have been horribly offended by the suggestion that he was rebelling against the father’s authority and love, but he was, deeply. 

 *     *     *

“We habitually and instinctively look to other things besides God and his grace as our justification, hope, significance, and security.  We believe the gospel at one level, but at deeper levels we do not.  Human approval, professional success, power and influence, family and clan identity—all of these things serve as our heart’s ‘functional trust’ rather than what Christ has done, and as a result we continue to be driven to a great degree by fear, anger, and a lack of self-control.  You cannot change such things through mere willpower, through learning Biblical principles and trying to carry them out.  We can only change permanently as we take the gospel more deeply into our understanding and into our hearts.  We must feed on the gospel, as it were, digesting it and making it part of ourselves.  That is how we grow." (p.115)

“The elder brother’s problem is his self-righteousness, the way he uses his moral record to put God and others in his debt to control them and get them to do what he wants.  His spiritual problem is the radical insecurity that comes from basing his self-image on achievements and performance, so he must endlessly prop up his sense of righteousness by putting others down and finding fault…To find God we must repent of the things we have done wrong, but if that is all you do, you may remain just an elder brother.  To truly become Christians we must also repent of the reasons we ever did anything right.  Pharisees only repent of their sins, but Christians repent for the very roots of their (self-) righteousness, too.  We must learn how to repent of the sin under all our other sins and under all our “righteousness” —the sin of seeking to be our own Savior and Lord.”  (pp 77-78)

“How can the inner workings of the heart be changed from a dynamic fear and anger to that of love, joy, and gratitude?  Here is how.  You need to be moved by the sight of what it cost to bring you home… You need to see how GREAT is our outstanding debt and distance from God and how GREAT is Christ’s willingness and action to make it right.  ” (pp 85-86)

“Jesus Christ, who had all the power in the world, saw us enslaved by the very things we thought would free us.  So he emptied himself of his glory and became a servant (Philippians 2).  He laid aside the infinities and immensities of his being and, at the cost of his life, paid the debt for our sins, purchasing us the only place our hearts can rest, in his Father’s house.”  (p 87)

“If the Lord of the universe loves us enough to experience this for us, what are we afraid of?”

“…the Cross proves God’s care for you and gives you all the security you need.”

“…all change comes from deepening your understanding of the salvation of Christ and living out of the changes that understanding creates in your heart.  Faith in the gospel restructures our motivations, our self-understanding, our identity, and our view of the world.  Behavioral compliance to rules without heart-change will be superficial and fleeting.”

I highly recommend The Prodigal God by Tim Keller.  On the surface it's an easy read, but without rushing to get through it, we can come out with some real heart change.  

All excerpts taken from Keller, Timothy. The Prodigal God. New York: Dutton, 2008

the Christmas stairway

in church this advent season, we have been going through a series called "Christmas in Genesis." it has been really neat to see illustrations and foreshadowing of the Christmas story in the first book of the bible.  it's not normally the place that one might turn to remember the story of baby Jesus, but he's in there, if we have the eyes to see! 

last week we looked at the story of Jacob & the stairway to heaven.  commonly referred to as Jacob's ladder, the pastor first reminded us that the image is not actually a ladder, but some stairs. that distinction is important, because as a ladder, we think it represents how we must struggle and climb our way up to God in some unreachable place.  but in fact, Jacob's vision is one of movement both up and down the stairs.  he sees angels ascending all the way up to heaven, and angels also descending the stairs to earth.  this is a picture of God's work--the angels are the messengers of God's love and plans and as they are directed by God, they come to earth to act and as they finish their task, they head back up to heaven.

but, the angels are not the only ones occupying these stairs.  from heaven, God speaks to Jacob and says: I am with you. I will watch over you and protect you.  I will not leave you until I have done what I promised to you.  when Jacob woke from his sleep, he knew that surely God was with him.

as the pastor was delivering his sermon, i was thinking about one of my first experiences reading about Jacob, several years ago.  i remembered when i first read through Genesis and i got really hung up on this guy.  the story of him & his stairway vision comes immediately after he has stolen his brother's birthright and fled to avoid his father's punishment.  he is a deceitful trickster and i could not wrap my head around why in the world God would give him such significant blessing (not only here, but also when God wrestles with him and renames him Israel.)  can't God see how bad and undeserving Jacob is, i thought?  what is going on here???

and what i didn't know then was GRACE.  i didn't see then how Jacob's mischief and hardness of heart is a picture of mine and the very same promises God makes to Jacob can actually be mine too.  how?  only by God's outrageous grace and redemption.  the thing that upset me about Jacob was that i felt that he represented the world of "bad people" and, knowing i represented the world of "good people," i worried about this upside-down-nature of what God was doing.   is He rewarding sin?  but no!  it's by his mercy and kindness that we are led to repentance.  He chooses the foolish things of the world, the things we would cast-off and discount, as the vessels for his power and glory. 

God delights in lavishing his grace and mercy on those who don't deserve it.....which is all of us!  He loves making his riches known in situations where human wisdom can't find a way out. my gut-reaction to Jacob is not all wrong--he is in fact a bad guy. i held him at arm's length because i could not fathom a God doing good for bad people.  but, that is the crux of God's heart!  that is the moral of the whole story, the key to humility and transformation. we need to see Jacob's sin, and our own, to understand how unbelievable it is that God would come to rescue us. will we have the eyes to see our family resemblance to Jacob?

in Jacob's vision, God was still up in heaven, speaking down to him.  but at Christmas, we see the full completion of this story.  when Jesus calls several of his disciples, He amazes them by knowing things about them they didn't tell him directly.  He assures them that that is not the most amazing thing they will see him do. He then added, "Very truly I tell you, you will see 'heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending on' the Son of Man." (John 1:43-51)  do you see the fulfillment of Jacob's vision?  Jesus says that He himself IS the very stairway upon which angels go up and down, the stairway that connects heaven to earth, at the top of which is God looking down with love and grace on his people. Jesus is the incarnation of that grace and mercy God spoke to Jacob in his vision. Jesus is God with us, keeping his promises to lead and protect us.  it is a sort of an odd image to picture Jesus as a stairway, but that's what He's saying--He is the very connection between man and God.  and Christmas is the time when God made that definitive act of grace, coming to Earth in the form of his son, to be with us, to save us Jacobs from our sin and deliver us from God's just wrath.  the real gift of Christmas is God giving himself to liars and tricksters and sinners like Jacob and you and me!

God does not give us a ladder, which we must climb by our own efforts to reach him.  He gives us a stairway, and He descends to rescue us.  may this Christmas be a time we remember and celebrate God's radical love.

complain much? you're in good company.

so i'm reading through exodus.  God has just dazzled pharaoh and the egyptians, not to mention his own people, with plagues of increasing intensity, eventually securing the release of the hebrews from slavery in egypt.  if that weren't enough, he led them by pillars of cloud and fire through the wilderness, promising to bring them to a new land.  only one thing stood in their way--that pesky little red sea. so, He did what He had to do: split the sea and led His people through on dry land.  as the egyptians pursued, the walls of water crashed in on them, drowning the enemies for good.  Moses & his sister Miriam respond by leading the people in great songs of adoration and praise for God's mighty act of salvation.

and what happens next?  the israelites start to complain.  that's right, they complain! can you imagine? they even tell Moses that they should have been left alone to die in Egypt--at least there they had food and drink.

as i read and reflect on this passage, i see my heart going in two directions.
first, i cannot believe or understand why the israelites would complain.  don't they see God's desire and active will to save them?  don't they see His ongoing mercy?  don't they realize that the very same God who parted the seas and freed them from centuries-long slavery would certainly give them what they needed to survive?  did they really think God had led them through all that just to abandon them in the wilderness?

and then, that quiet but persistent reminder in my heart tells me that i am not that different from the complaining israelites.  was this passage included in scripture for us to read and tout our superiority?  no, i think it was included so that we could see our place among the israelites--not just in God's acts of favor, but also in short-sightedness and forgetfulness. sure it would be easy to tell myself that i, unlike the israelites, always remember God's faithfulness and never doubt it will come again.  easy, maybe. but completely honest? not so much.  my complaints might not sound exactly like theirs, and they may not come right on the heels of miraculous sea-parting, but surely they come.  and not only do i have the record of the sea-parting to remind me of God's might and power, but also the whole rest of history...not to mention the miracles and provision i have seen from God in my own life.  what right do i have to complain?  why do i so often forget?

the other place my mind goes when thinking about my complaining brethren is to an assumption of God's response.  considering my instinctive reaction to the israelites' complaints, i want to run with that exasperation and say "fine, you don't see all that God is doing?  then you don't get anything else good!"  but what does God say?  "I am going to rain bread from heaven for you, and each day the people shall go out and gather enough for that day." (Exodus 16)

we have probably all experienced ungrateful people, often exaggerated by our estimation of whether or not that other person's ungratefulness is justified or not.  the last thing i want to do for someone who is ungrateful, particularly following an especially sacrificial thing that i may have done for them, is do more.  the last thing i want to feel is even more unappreciated.  but thankfully, God's heart is much richer in grace and mercy than mine!!  what does God do when he hears the complaints of his people?  he gives more, he gives what they need.  and therein is the other lesson for me--not only do i get a reflection of my heart's own faithless tendency to complain and doubt, but also a stunning picture of the mercy and compassion that our Father gives to unrighteous complainers like us.  hold out love and blessing until they realize what fools they've become and come crawling back to apologize?  no!  surely this does not give us a picture of a push-over God--he can do what He wants to do. yes, He could have withheld blessing to teach the israelites a lesson in keeping their complaints to themselves.  but here we see that He does what He really wants to do--provide for His people, even in the midst of their doubt and foolishness and forgetfulness of His good and always-sufficient nearness.

how can i respond like this?  i pray for my instincts to change, to be able to respond with mercy & compassion when my nature often compels me to turn away from those in need or shake them until they realize how blessed they already are.  how can i learn to complain less and find contentment more?  i pray for my heart to hold on to the abundance of God's grace, and all the ways i've seen that, instead of clinging desperately to the cultural messages of scarcity and greed.

particularly in this season of all-consuming materialism, let us humbly learn from our israelite ancestors and rejoice in God's abundant provision and love, which never forgets or abandons us.

The Heart of the Golden Rule

The Grace of God in our Circumstances: Why you weren't Born as an Impoverished Child in an Unreached Nation

Why was I born into such privilege when most of the world wasn't?

How am I using what I was born into to do unto others what I would have them do unto me?

How can I translate that into thanksgiving?

Good questions to ponder...and then to act upon!

like a dagger to my heart, the Truth

whenever i finally sit down and catch up on the hordes of blog subscriptions that i generally neglect for months at a time, i inevitably end up with several that just really hit me in a deep, good way.  so, as a way of reminding myself and sharing with you, i've re-posted them here. (Click on the title of the first two articles for full text.)

The Costume Kingdom (Paul Tripp) 

Love Warns, Love Rebukes (Paul Tripp)

Prayer Answered by Crosses (John Newton)

I asked the Lord that I might grow

In faith and love and every grace,

Might more of his salvation know,

And seek more earnestly his face.

‘Twas he who taught me thus to pray;

And he, I trust, has answered prayer;

But it has been in such a way

As almost drove me to despair.

I hoped that, in some favoured hour,

At once he’d answer my request,

And by his love’s constraining power

Subdue my sins, and give me rest.

Instead of this, he made me feel

The hidden evils of my heart,

And let the angry powers of hell

Assault my soul in every part.

Yea, more, with his own hand he seemed 

Intent to aggravate my woe,

Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,

Blasted my gourds, and laid me low.

Lord, why is this? I trembling cried;

Wilt thou pursue this worm to death?

This is the way, the Lord replied 

I answer prayer for grace and faith.

These inward trials I now employ

From self and pride to set thee free, 

And break thy schemes of earthly joy,

That thou may’st seek thy all in me.

friends, let us not choose comfort over truth. 

reflections on leaving New Orleans...

i have been a jumble of emotions since about mid-August as my new-orleans-departure date drew ever nearer.  this beautiful post from a new friend, who is also leaving her current home to join InnerCHANGE, and embrace the unknown, inspired me to share my thoughts on moving and transitions.  on my mind is this song, also appropriate for leaving a place that has my heart.

Abiding City by Sandra McCracken
Oh sweet home of love and peace
where pilgrims tired and troubled rest
into the hope of Zion we
will in Jesus' arms we will fall at last


Addictions, empty promises
This broken world just can't satisfy
A sweeter song redemption's bliss
Is sealed for us in paradise


Oh lift up your head
For the day is near
We have no abiding city here.  


Spirit heal our neighborhood
Until your Kingdom work is done
Teach us what is just and good
As we look for the city that is yet to come


Oh lift up your head
For the day is near
We have no abiding city here.  


City filled with golden light
God the builder & the architect
And when our faith has turned to sight
Oh I cannot imagine it!  


Oh lift up your head
For the day is near
We have no abiding city here.

i was sharing with another friend a few days ago the seeming irony of all this timing.  i lived in new orleans for exactly 4 years.  for the first year, i hated it most days.  well, really, it's a place that takes some getting used to...not to mention it was in full-on disaster-recovery mode then.  it doesn't function the way most "normal" cities do, and that adds to its charm and character...i just didn't realize that at the time.  God was teaching me to have grace for a place!  after the first year, those periods of wanting to leave grew further apart, and my love for the city got stronger.  the first time i learned about InnerCHANGE, in the summer of 2008, i was all set to jump in but had the sense that God was saying "not yet." and indeed, He did some amazing things in my life in new orleans after that. over time, God provided me with such a beautiful community that made it easy to call the place home.  and when moving day came, i couldn't believe i would have ever wanted to leave.   i had fought to love this place, to see what God was doing in and around me, and it felt like just when i was getting into my groove, He is calling me someplace else.  i don't doubt for one second what He is doing in leading me to South Africa--i just wish i could bring all the people dear to my heart with me there....or just be in two places at once!!

all that to say that this song reminds me that as much as i love new orleans and the life i had there, and really as much as i may grow to love soshanguve, south africa and the life that God grows there, my home is not on any earthly map.  even the best places to live don't compare to where we're headed and we are just making our way through this life as pilgrims en route to something grander and whole.

and 'til we reach that day, my prayers will continue to be "Spirit heal our neighborhoods, until your Kingdom work is done.  Teach us what is just and good, as we look for the city that is yet to come"

more like falling in love...

this song has been in my head for the past month or so. and it has become a frequent prayer...God move my heart to fall in love with you more!!!


Give me rules
I will break them
Give me lines
I will cross them
I need more than a truth to believe
I need a truth that lives, moves, and breathes
To sweep me off my feet
It ought to be

More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, oh
It's like I'm falling in love

Give me words
I'll misuse them
Obligations
I'll misplace them
'Cause all religion ever made of me
Was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet
It never set me free
It's gotta be

More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, oh
It's like I'm falling in love

...It's like I'm falling in love, love, love
Deeper and deeper
It was love that made
Me a believer
In more than a name, a faith, a creed
Falling in love with Jesus brought the change in me


More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, oh
It's like I'm falling in love

Holiest of Holies

With Christmas just a matter of hours away, I am struck by a passage of scripture unrelated to Jesus' manger-laden birth, yet fundamental to his reason for being born...

"Think about that first covenant for a moment. Even that covenant had rules and regulations about how to worship and how to set up an earthly sanctuary for God. In the Book of Exodus, we read how the first tent was set aside for worship--we call it the holy place...Behind a second dividing curtain, there was another tent which is called the most holy of holy places...

Here's my point: When all is prepared as it is supposed to be, the priests go back and forth daily into the first tent to carry out the duties described in the law. But once a year, the high priest goes alone into that second tent, the holy of holies, with blood to offer for himself and the unwitting errors of the people."

You see, the priest, being human with a heart just as prone to sin as his people, needed his own atonement before offering any atoning sacrifices for his people. This was a never-ending cycle. The priest was appointed by God to this office, but in no other way was he made or exempt apart from the law and its demands. The priest had no special way of attaining cleanliness, apart from the same rituals through which he guided other worshippers.

"As long as that first tent is standing, the Holy Spirit shows us, the way into the most holy of holy places has not yet been revealed to us. That first tent symbolizes the present time, when gifts and sacrifices can be offered; but it can't change the heart and conscience of the worshipper...

When the Liberating King arrived as High Priest of the good that comes to us, He entered through a greater and more perfect sanctuary that was not part of the earthly creation or made by human hands. He entered once for all time into the most holy of holy places--entering, not with the blood of goats or calves...but offering His own blood and thus obtaining redemption for us for all time. Think about it: if the blood of bulls or of goats, or the sprinkling of ashes from a heifer, restores the defiled to bodily cleanliness and wholeness, then how much more powerful is the blood of the Liberating King, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself as a spotless sacrifice to God, purifying your conscience form the dead things of the world to the service of the living God?

This is why Jesus is the mediator of the new covenant: through His death, He delivered us from the sins that we had built up under the first covenant, and His death has made it possible for all who are called to receive God's promised inheritance. For whenever there is a testament--a will--the death of the one who made it must be confirmed because a will takes effect only at the death of its maker; it has no validity as long as the maker is still alive. Even the first testament--the first covenant--required blood to be put into action...Under the law, it's almost the case that everything is purified in connection with blood; without the shedding of blood, sin cannot be forgiven."

Here we are reminded that what is most real, what is most true, is the unseen reality. Take the temple in Jerusalem, the holiest place on earth. It seemed real enough, with its massive stone construction, constant flurry of rituals, and daily offerings. But the writer tells us that it was merely a copy or shadow of another place, the heavenly temple. Whatever took place in this shadowy temple could not change the realities of alienation from God, sin, and death. Whatever else seems real around us can't shade the fact that the truest part of our selves lies within, our heart and soul, which cannot be hidden or changed apart from the one who created us.

Every year on a most special day, the Day of Atonement, the high priest would don his priestly garb and enter the most holy of holy paces in the temple. His task was profound, his duty dangerous: he must appear before God carrying the sins of his people. All the sins of Israel were concentrated in him as he carried the blood of the sacrifice into the divine presence. But there was another day, a Day of Atonement unlike any other, where Jesus, the Liberating King, concentrated in Himself the sins of the world, hanging on a cross not far from the temple's holiest chamber. Indeed, for a time, He became sin. But unlike the high priest in the early copy of the temple, the crucified and risen Jesus entered the true temple of heaven and was ushered into the divine presence. He who had embodied the sins of the world carried His own sinless blood into the holy presence. Jesus' death was the sacrifice and his resurrection was the entrance into the holiest of holies, the true presence of God, wherein he carried the sins of the world as the ultimate atoning offering. At that moment, everything changed.

"The Liberating King did not enter into handcrafted sacred spaces but into heaven itself, where He stands in the presence of God on our behalf. There He does not offer Himself over and over as a sacrifice (as the high priest on earth does when he enters the most holy of holy places each year with blood other than his own) because that would require His repeated suffering since the beginning of the world. No, He has appeared once now, at the end of the age, to put away sin forever by offering Himself as a sacrifice...

We have seen how the law is simply a shadow of the good things to come. Since it is not the perfect form of these ultimate realities, the offering year after year of these imperfect sacrifices cannot bring perfection to those who come forward to worship. If they had served this purpose, wouldn't the repetition of these sacrifices have become unnecessary?...These sacrifices actually remind us that we sin again and again, year after year. In the end, the blood of bulls and of goats is powerless to take away sins"

Picture this: the worshippers come to the temple everyday, greet the priest they see everyday and hand him their daily sacrifice. He goes in, takes care of business, and comes out. "See you tomorrow, " they say to each other as they part ways. Just that scene is a clear reason why we need a once-and-for-all solution to this sin problem. I wonder if these people groaned, ached with the painful knowledge that these sacrifices, while required by God, would never be enough to thoroughly and actually cleanse their hearts and free them from the burden of sin. God asks of us obedience, and a contrite heart...steeped in the knowledge that no earthly action or routine of our own will ever be sufficient to heal our broken souls.

"In the first covenant, every day every priest stands at his post serving, offering over and over those same sacrifices that can never take away sin. But after the Liberator stepped up to offer His single sacrifice for sins for all time, He sat down in the position of honor at the right hand of God...When there is forgiveness such as this, there is no longer any need to make an offering for sin."

From the letter to the Hebrews, chapters 9 & 10

In this Christmas season, Easter must not be far from our minds. God willingly, lovingly, and joyfully sent His only Son to earth. He entered as any man would, in the form of an infant. He came and lived to fully know the human experience. And He came and lived with the full knowledge of His ultimate purpose. He was born to die. He came to serve as the only atonement that we would ever need. How his heart must have broken as he looked upon the people he loved and lived among, knowing how deeply they needed the healing that only He could offer. But how his heart must have rejoiced knowing that the generations of partial sacrifice could end. How his heart must rejoice now to see that His mission to earth, from babe to grave to resurrection, was not in vain. And he calls at this time, from a cradle in the hay, to those who will hear and respond. He calls to come, join Him in the truest way of life. Come, follow the baby who brings us peace and grace.

ashes, ashes, we all fall down

coming into ash wednesday, i went back in forth in my mind about the idea of getting the symbolic ash mark on my forehead. this is never something i had needed to consider before and i was intrigued. in ash wednesdays past, i have been one of those people strangely drawn to stare at anyone with the forehead marking. i understand what it represents but i was torn. torn because on the one hand, the bible tells us not to make a big scene of our fasting or praying or other acts--for the sake of being seen--but that our Father in heaven sees and rewards and that if we are doing it to be seen we need to check our hearts. on the other hand, baptism, a very significant gesture and sign in the life of a christ-follower is all about being an outward declaration to the world of the direction and posture of your life in Christ. really, honestly, despite all this holy talk, my vanity was really about to get the best of me. did i really want that ashy stuff on my foreheard all day? did i want the strange looks and the questions from the kids in the neighborhood? did i want to have to explain it over and over, perhaps even to people to whom explanations really didn't matter?
but as i sat there in the beginning of the ash wednesday service, a stronger thought came to me-- I NEED THIS. i not only need everything that is represented by this ash, this sign, this season, but i NEED this shot to my vanity. if lent is everything it's cracked up to be, then it's a set aside time to focus on our repentance...and our ability to rest in the finished work of Christ on the cross. it is a time for me to choose, to attempt, to admit i fail at putting aside my vanity YET all the while rejoice in Christ's unconditional forgiveness. i needed this reminder, this sign that stared back at me every time i looked in the mirror today. i need to be reminded that i AM set apart. and frankly, if explaining an ashy smudge on my forehead was the strongest sign of Christ to those around me today, then taking up my cross daily compelled me to do it. was i really about to choose my own vanity over an outward sign of my faith? isn't that what this is all about?

people of God, come now in the spirit of penitence, and receive on your head in ashes the sign of the cross, the symbol of our mortality, a symbol of the cost of sin, and yet the sign of our salvation and promise of eternal life.

ain't that just the kicker??!?! that one smudge represents my mortality, the cost of my sin AND YET the sign of my salvation and promise of eternal life. as if my wearing of the ash had ANYthing at all to do with accomplishing anything. my world boils down to how the ash will match or clash with my current day's outfit when in TRUTH and reality, the ash actually represents all that has already and forever been done to absolve me of my own self-full-ness, the illusion of the earth's orbit around me. amazing. i could wear the ash or not, it truly changes naught. God's mercy has been activated once and for all....and all i am thinking about is the pore-clogging-factor.

remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.

May our fasting be hunger for justice; our alms, a making of peace; our prayer, the chant of humble and grateful hearts.

the pastor spoke of the lenten tradition of fasting and sacrifice. he reminded us that the emphasis is not on giving up bad things. those bad things, of course, are actually to be given up all year long. no, the point of this fast is not to give up those things that lead us into sin or temptation but to give up good things...for the sake of seeing what's better. i indulge in chocolate and my enjoyment often ends at the chocolate for chocolate's sake. however, this time of pensiveness and abstinence pushes me to think of where that chocolate's goodness comes from...it forces me to remember that for all the goodness of the gift, the Giver is inherently and infinitely better.

were the whole realm of nature mine, that were an offering far too small; love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul , my life, my all.

teach us Lord to count our days, that we may gain a wise heart. satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, so that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. through Christ, our Lord. amen.

Rend your heart
and not your garments.
Return to the LORD your God,
for he is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and abounding in love,
and he relents from sending calamity. (joel 2. 13)

Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,
O God of my salvation,
and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.
O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. (psalm 51.14-17)

bearing shame and scoffing rude, in my place condemned he stood, sealed my pardon with his blood, Hallelujah! What a Savior!
Guilty, vile, and helpless we; spotless Lamb of God was he; full atonement! Can it be?
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Go in peace, remembering that you are but dust and ashes and unworthy of being called the people of God. But also remember that, you who were no people, God by His love and grace has made a people, children of his own household. Let us go forth in humility to be Christ to the world.

Diagnosis: Mardi Gras Fever

Full-Body Diseases: Mardi Gras Fever (also known as Carnival-itis)

What Causes Mardi Gras Fever?
Mardi Gras Fever is caused by insatiable appetite for more and cooler beads. Also caused by a feeling of what one "MUST do" if the infected person lives in New Orleans; especially heightened if this is the person's first time to experience the Carnival season. Susceptibility to Mardi Gras Fever is also heightened by exposure, for any length of time, to publicity surrounding the holiday season. Excessive amounts of advertising for beads and other useless crap heighten one's vulnerability. Warning: although there is plenty of advance warning and notification of the oncoming Carnival season, Mardi Gras Fever can infect those who least expect it and those whose vaccinations are up to date.

What Are the Symptoms of Mardi Gras Fever?
The classic symptoms of Mardi Gras Fever include:

• Excessive screaming and desire for small, shiny beads; increased enthusiasm and screaming for what is known in the medical community as "cooler throws," including: larger beads, feather boas, plastic spears, foam footballs, plastic cups, lighted medallions, plush animals, plastic coins ("doubloons"). In rarer circumstances, a person may display such symptoms for hand-painted coconuts, satin sleep masks, and small plastic tambourines. In extreme cases, a person infected by Mardi Gras Fever may show such symptoms at even the mention or thought of catching any number random and useless throws.
• Heightened anxiety to find a spot next to the parade route. Includes arriving any number of hours before the parade begins; bringing blankets, chairs, ladders, and even caution tape to secure the "perfect" viewing location. Patients with such symptoms will be highly irritable when such perfect viewing spots are spoiled by parade-goers who arrive later, infringe upon said reserved territory, and yet seem to catch all the best throws.
  
• Insensitivity to personal space, including a willingness to exploit young children and block out others' ability to catch good throws from parade floats.
  
• Throbbing headache. This symptom may last several hours or days after the parade is over. (When tested in several research studies, a direct causation link was discovered between shouting at the top of one's lungs for useless junk with the onset of a severe headache. Thus, this symptom is preventable, yet highly likely for a person who suffers from Mardi Gras Fever).
• Cessation of all basic household functions. May result in large piles of clothing on the floor, dishes in the sink (despite having a dishwasher), a dishwasher with clean dishes that has not been emptied in several days, negligence to go grocery shopping or perform other basic household chores, large piles of beads and other parade booty accumulating around the house, multiple stacks of plastic cups received from parade floats, stray feathers from personal boa usage, assorted air mattresses and extra bedding to accommodate multiple house guests.
• Temporary inability to maintain relationships outside of those directly related to the festivities of Carnival. Due to the excessive time spent with pre-parade preparation, parade-watching, post-parade eating & celebration, a feeling of abandonment can develop in relation to outside friendships. Sufferers of Mardi Gras Fever, and their loved ones, can be comforted by the temporary nature of this symptom and should not take personally the inability of the infected person to return phone calls or take care of normal business.
• Identity confusion. Comes with willingness to adorn costumes and other such activities to garner the attention of parade riders in order to get the best throws.
  
• Sore throat and loss of voice. (This, like throbbing headache, has been directly linked to screaming for multiple days at the top of one's lungs. However, this symptom does not necessarily prove preventative to pursuing further Mardi Gras activities.)
• Neck pains due to wearing multiple strands of heavy beads for even short periods of time.
  
• Excessive fatigue due to not only staying out late for night parades and waking up early to catch the day parades, but also to repetitive physical exertion to acquire all the best beads.
• General aches & pains due to carrying heavy bags full of excessive amounts of beads.
  
• Surges of jealousy, mostly when peers obtain cooler throws, often by manipulative means such as blowing kisses, applying lip gloss, singing or dancing for the throwers or other such tactics.
  

Over the past 12 days, I have been a sufferer of Mardi Gras Fever. I am proud to say I am now in remission and am confident that this infection will not overtake me again. It got to the point where we planning everything around the festivities of Carnival--what to wear, when to wake up, when to eat, where to stand, what to say, who to be with, when to sleep. I have needed all day to recover from my maladie.

My experience with this serious condition has also allowed me time to reflect on the real meaning of the season, as we enter this Lenten time of fasting. Carnival was for the feasting, the celebration of life and people and food and good times. Carnival was a distraction for me and this whole city and sometimes we need distractions. We need to be pulled out of our self-pitying haze of discouragement to be reminded that there is beauty in the world, there is joy in the company of people, there is fun to be had in this life! And Ash Wednesday reminds us that all those distractions will eventually burn away. All we cling to beyond the comfort of a momentary distraction will never fully satisfy, will never last. The distraction was good and we are not to be shamed or scolded for partaking in the celebratory culture of this place. But how many other things do I fill my life with to remain in the constant state of distraction from the pain and difficulties around me? How often do I press in to the pain and willingly pursue the challenges that are not fun? I am thankful for Mardi Gras and am thankful that the people of this city can still find reason to celebrate. And I pray that as seasons of celebration come up in our lives we will welcome them with the same openness that we welcome those seasons of fasting, and facing the challenges.

As the beads are cleaned from the streets and people hang up their masks until next year, the challenges of rebuilding a broken city still remain. Distractions are just that--not a permanent removal of challenges but a temporary diversion of our attention. Perhaps it is the promise of another season of celebration that gives us the hope to push on. Winter will turn to spring and life will come again. If that is a lesson that we can learn from Mardi Gras then let the celebration continue! If we can learn from the Lenten season of fast that we must surrender our comforts upon which we've built our hope and protection in order to truly feast in the bounty that God gives, then we can make it through the sacrifice and enter into the true banquet of life and grace and love.

going going going

i feel like it's been quite the whirlwind since i returned to new orleans after thanksgiving break. seems i've just been going non-stop. i arrived back in town on a monday afternoon, worked three days that week, and then headed to central mississippi for a retreat with the other Gulf Coast Mission volunteers. this was a good time to get away and find some space away from our usual busy-ness, but anyone who knows me knows that i can't really relax in the middle of nowhere for too long. like i said to my roommate emily, spending time in audubon park is country enough for me. we returned this past sunday afternoon, just in time to watch the amazing race!

this week at work kept me busy too. we are working on identifying properties to pursue in the process of acquiring land to develop new affordable housing. i feel like i am in way over my head but i love it. the workdays are heavy on the administrative side, which the organization-freak in me loves, but i do wish we were out in the community more, making relationships with residents. at this point, though, there are just not that many people in the Upper Ninth Ward. Check out these websites, which show the things that we’re working on: www.cdc5812.org, www.unwca.org, www.curenola.org. on Wednesday night we attended a screening for a new documentary film called "Left Behind" about the public school situation in this city. the film was very interesting, as it pointed to the dismal public education system in New Orleans as one of the factors that contributed to a community at its breaking point, as displayed in the aftermath of Katrina. then, i spent the last few days of this week in bed with a cold L winter is real here in the south! there have been freezing warnings this week and it always shocks me when i step outside that it can get this cold in new orleans. not to mention that when you have volunteers do the electrical wiring for your office space, the central heat might not work. and by might i mean definitely. so add that to the adventures of the week.

looking at my calendar, this coming week is going to be crazy!! i have: a meeting monday night, a meeting tuesday afternoon, a meeting all day thursday. wednesday, i need to find a way to be in two places at once because we have a volunteer group coming and also John Perkins visiting. John Perkins is the founder of the Christian Community Development Association, a model on which Mission Year and Desire Street Ministries are based. Mr. Perkins will be spending the day with the CURE pastors on Wednesday and then speaking to a larger group on Wednesday evening. To top all this off, my mom is coming into town and i get to have dinner with her two nights next week! now, i understand that three meetings in one week might not seem like such a big deal, but most of the events and meetings that we go to for CURE or Desire Street are things that myself and my teammate Emily are planning and organizing. so that's why we're so busy!

i've been going through an advent calendar from my church and it has helped put me in the proper frame of mind for this season. it is a time of anticipation and hope and excitement, as we know what will be borne out of this preparation. as i read the words of zechariah, the father of john the baptist, i was reminded again just how revolutionary is this God of ours: "Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, because he has come and has redeemed his people. He has raised up a horn of salvation for us in the house of his servant David (as he said through his holy prophets of long ago), salvation from our enemies and from the hand of all who hate us--to show mercy to our fathers and to remember his holy covenant, the oath he swore to our father Abraham: to rescue us from the hand of our enemies, and to enable us to serve him without fear in holiness and righteousness before him all our days." (Luke 1.67-75)

May you find peace and joy in this season of anticipation!

straight from my journal to your eyes...

so i'm trying to explore prayer in hopes of pursuing a deeper connection with God. you know, i go through ups and downs of the "feeling" of connectedness to God through prayer and i really like the ups. so i'm trying to get back there. living a year like this affords me the opportunity and encouragement to pursue disciplines in a way i may not have taken the effort otherwise.

i'm reading through a book called "50 ways to pray" and one of the exercises i recently went through focused on Mark 10.35-40…

Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to him. "Teacher," they said, "we want you to do for us whatever we ask." "What do you want me to do for you?" Jesus asked. They replied, "Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory." "You don't know what you are asking," Jesus said. "Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?" "We can," they answered. Jesus said to them, "You will drink the cup I drink and be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared."

in this passage, James and John come up to tell Jesus "We want you to do for us whatever we ask of you." now i would respond to them like--who do you think you are, demanding that God do you a favor? and Jesus could say to them--don't you know who I am, and you're asking Me to fulfill your every wish? they have seen his miracles, heard his parables, even seen him calm a storm with a word. indeed, they must believe he is who he says he is, complete with the power he has shown that he has, otherwise they probably wouldn't have come to him with this statement.

and yet, i do the same thing as them: "Jesus, I want you to do for me whatever I ask you to do. Jesus, do this for me. Jesus, do that.” yet how often do i reflect the reality that he doesn’t owe us anything, any favors. he doesn’t have to do anything for us. how often are my requests drenched in the thankfulness that is due Him? the thankfulness that we even have the chance to come and ask? the thankfulness that he might consider us to be a part of His story on earth, in people’s lives.

and apart from how i think i would have reacted to james and john, what does Jesus actually say? "what do you want me to do for you?" ah yes, He doesn’t have the same selfish, self-righteous, be-served attitude that i so often carry. He is the great server, whose ultimate service has set us free. nothing in Him expresses frustration with our questions--ugh, what do you want now? you just asked me for enough yesterday! i don’t have the patience for that, but God does. he welcomes our questions and requests. he doesn't scoff at the desires of our hearts. he seeks our heart, ambitions, motives in handling our requests. he has guaranteed us a response. he has even promised that anything we ask for in his spirit will come to pass (John 15.7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.) amazing!!

the prayer exercise goes on to place the reader in the setting of the story and into the position of answering to Jesus what she wants him to do for her. incredible. with the attitude of a servant, Jesus longs to hear our heart's requests. he knows our need and wants to be close enough to us that we trust Him to meet them. he is not too bothered or self-consumed (like me) to tend to us. in fact, that’s' his greatest joy: tending to His people in mercy and grace to ensure their good and His glory.

He's not like us, but calls us to be like Him.

and another reminder from the prayer book...this one focused on deuteronomy 1.6-8

Back at Horeb, God, our God, spoke to us: "You've stayed long enough at this mountain. On your way now. Get moving. Head for the Amorite hills, wherever people are living in the Arabah, the mountains, the foothills, the Negev, the seashore—the Canaanite country and the Lebanon all the way to the big river, the Euphrates. Look, I've given you this land. Now go in and take it. It's the land God promised to give your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and their children after them."

the thing that stuck with me from this was how the people were on Mt. Sinai and God had to tell them it was time to come down from the mountain. they needed to come down to continue the journey to the promised land. i am so stubborn and i want to cling to the mountain tops. i think in those moments, while in the valleys of life or trudging along the bumpy path, we long to be on the peak, even longing to be back on top of the previous mountain. but truly, coming down from the mountain is the only way forward. do we really expect to leap from peak to peak in our journey of knowing God? i forget that it is a forward trek and not intended to end on each mountain top. thus, coming down is required to move forward.

July 2006--Final Mission Year Newsletter

We have been lauded for choosing to give up and sacrifice this year of our lives to spend in the inner-city. Well truly, I’m not sure that’s entirely accurate. At a time in our lives when family wants to know our long-term plans and society wants us to pick a path and stick with it forever, I have been privileged to be given a year not to do something concrete or advance my career path or make any definite plans. Because of gracious and generous support, we were able to spend this time as students of life and love and the kingdom of God. We were challenged to see how the kingdom of God is here and now and advancing in the children playing in the street, the adults dancing on the corner, the bbq’s and loud music and extended family networks.

I’ve been the lucky one…
People thought we were coming here to bless, but we’ve been the ones to receive the blessings. Jesus called us to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, take in the lonely. We’ve done our share of serving here, but truly we’ve been fed, clothed, and welcomed more than I’ve ever experienced.

I’ve been the lucky one…
To be the recipient of such gracious hospitality
To be allowed to spend a year hanging out with some of the most amazing people in the world
To have so many of my stereotypes and assumptions corrected
To be welcomed as family into homes that are so different from my own

People might look at our neighbors or service sites and say that they are lucky since they were able to benefit from the free assistance we provided.
But truly, I’ve been the lucky one…
To realize how much I’ve been given just by chance of where I was born and the people who raised me
To learn grace and freedom and love in a merciful place where there was never more expected of me than I could give. My ability to love has been exponentially expanded by venturing to love people in ways that most touch them, instead of just ways that are easiest for me.

Truly I’ve been the lucky one…
To serve a God who trusts me with His plans, who longs to lay a path before me and watch me choose obedience and faith, in the face of doubt and tempting alternatives
To be a product of grace and forgiveness, and to have been graciously shown that I needed those just as much as I thought I didn’t when I first arrived
To see God’s face in the drug dealer on the corner and the kindergartner who can’t read


It’s kind of strange for me to think now about how I can best pray for and love my Oakland friends now that I’m leaving. We’ve spent this intense year together…or rather, I’ve spent a year sort of invading their lives. And now we’re moving on, each to the next adventure. We’ll always have this year that we shared in our memories, but now life goes on. For some of my friends here, the adventure may not actually seem like one since it’s really just their normal lives, with them continuing to survive each day with remnants of hope and trust and a vision of God’s love. For my teammates, God has different adventures down the road for each of us. Whether we’re going on to college or jobs, this year has changed and grown us in ways we have yet to see fully manifested. In this isolated moment, this year seems like a big deal. But when I look ahead to the rest of our lives, I’m reminded again just how small I am in the hands of such a HUGE God.

Reflecting on all my prayers throughout this year, God has been entirely faithful. He has brought about tremendous changes in my heart and has brought along people that have touched my life. Praise God for: Keekee, Taranicha, Blossie, Je’da, Khalei, Tracy, Traion, Maliek, Lil Will, Cliff, Mason, Darius, Keisha, Knight, Ametria, Jalen, Dreena, Jen, Jahon, Tina, Pastor Hunter, the Lyons family, Hendrik, Luke, Alice, Dejeanne, Diamond, Ann, Jason Pokorny, Barbara, Cathy & Terry, Marilyn, Cheryl, Gabrielle, Ella, Marcel & Markel, Johnny, Freddy, Mo, Jackie, Levina, Joeybeth, Charlene, Anita, the Mojica family, Stephen, Aixa, Kilomoki, Davion, Tumariay, Melvin, Malik, Desiray, Anta’nae, Barbara, Dulce, Abigail, Merari, Efraim, Daisy, Clara, Ella, Kim, Chelsea, Jessica, Karrie, Heather. The only reason why I was able to be here this year and spend time with such amazing people was because of the support I got from all of you! Praise God for all of your prayers, financial gifts, emails, letters, cards, phone calls, and loving thoughts from afar.

If you are the praying type, please keep these friends and neighbors in your prayers. Please pray that our lives here have pointed our friends to some vision of light, love, and hope—not because we’re from the suburbs but because we’re following Jesus. Please pray that God will continue to grow and cultivate the seeds that have been planted during our time in West Oakland. Please pray for God’s love, protection, mercy, and compassion to cover them and for them to make healthy decisions in the future. I hope that I have succeeded in finding a place in your heart for the people I’ve grown to love and for my neighborhood in West Oakland, California. It is my prayer that God draws me back to this place, if not physically then at least in my mind and heart, in thankfulness and praise of all He’s done and is still doing here. I am so thankful that His work does not rest solely on our shoulders. He was here before we came, has been faithful and diligent even when we were discouraged, and will remain steadfast until the end.

April 2006

I find myself edging towards the end of April and facing another newsletter deadline. The irony is that as I read through my previous newsletters to remind myself how far I’ve come and perhaps gain some inspiration for this month’s installment, I was struck by the fact that almost all of my newsletters reflected thoughts and observations that I’m still having even now. Funny how I wrote that I couldn’t believe we had already been here three weeks for that first newsletter and now I’m looking at only about 3 more months until Mission Year ends. I haven’t come up with anything clever or witty for this month, especially since I’m filled with so much uncertainty right now. So again I write to you seeking your prayers and support, offering you the opportunity to partner with what God is doing here.

Pray for me and my team. As third trimester begins, our relationships are strengthening, yet still changing. I do not want to take these girls for granted, or think that I have any of them fully figured out. Please pray that we will remain open and eager to walk with each other through the struggles and triumphs that are yet to come. I am so grateful that God has placed these girls in my life and I pray that we will continue to grow in love for and unity with each other. A new command I give you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.(John 13.34-35)

Pray for our last few months as it would be easier for us to throw in the towel since the end is in sight. Mission Year founder Bart Campolo spoke to us a few weeks before we left for spring break and he exhorted us to “kick it in,” as his cross-country running friends would say. He reminded us that most of the people we encounter will remember our time here solely based on how we finished it. If we give up on people too soon we may be missing one of God’s greatest blessings. Especially after trying for seven months to develop relationships with people, it can be discouraging if it seems to be making no progress. Please pray for a spirit of perseverance in the things God is still trying to teach me about grace, freedom, and True love. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.(Galatians 6.9)

Pray for discernment as all of my teammates and I consider what our post-mission year plans will be. I am praying to be free of distractions as I try to balance thoughts about the future with what we are doing currently. I’m experiencing a definite paradox of choice since I could really do anything and am not sure which direction God is calling me towards. Please pray for clarity but also for a heart clearly seeking God and not just an arrow pointing in a direction.

Pray for my neighbors & friends. Keshia, Knight, new baby Jalen, Ametria, Darius, and Mason are considering moving back to Louisiana to be closer to Keshia’s family. Our team has really grown close with this family and we really want to spend more time with them. Levina is another one of our favorite neighbors—we went over to her house about a month ago to have a Saturday night movie party. She has lived in this neighborhood her entire life and she definitely longs to see these streets free of violence and fear. Keekee and Taranicha are of course also at the top of my prayer list. Please keep their whole family in prayer and pray that God would somehow protect and cover them even in the dangerous situations they might find themselves in. Pray that these girls would grow to see how beautiful and unconditionally loved they are in God’s eyes in such a way that would strengthen them as they prepare to face their teenage years. Please also keep Cathy and Gabrielle in your prayers. I see so much passion in Cathy and I pray that God keeps her on track with Him in spite of many temptations. Gabrielle is another friend from church who we love. Please pray for her as she is a single parent raising her 9 year old son, Gabe. Please also keep my friend Jen in your prayers as she undergoes cancer treatments and seeks to regain custody of her two children. Please also pray for a creative way to show our neighbors how much we appreciate and care about them.

Pray for the city of Oakland. There have been approximately 45 murders so far this year, more than double this time last year and almost half as many as all of 2005. The average age of murder victims last year was 31 years old. Since we’ve been here in September, there have been 85 murders. The mayor and city council of Oakland nearly called a state of emergency last month in order to get enough law enforcement agents on the street to keep the crime wave under control. Please pray that the Church would seize this opportunity to truly be the hands and feet of Jesus in the world.

Praise God for His wisdom and faithfulness. I have been so encouraged by the prayers that I have seen God answer here, right before my eyes. It is evident to me how He prepared a place for us at our church, our service sites, and within the neighborhood. I am so thankful for Pastor Hunter, the Lyons family (our Church liaisons—and so much more), Jahon Pride (music minister at Mt. Zion), Anita Taylor, Jason Pokorny (Volunteer Coordinator at Highland Hospital), Ms. Haynes (assistant principal at Prescott Elementary School), and all the others who have granted me the opportunity to serve and learn alongside them.

Praise God for the neighbors who have opened their hearts and homes to us. We have been so privileged to get to know the people who have welcomed us into their lives. We are very grateful for them and the ways we have been adopted into this neighborhood.

Praise God for World Impact and others in Oakland trying to make an impact for good. God’s spirit is advancing and moving in our neighborhood, and throughout the city, and lives are being changed. Thank God for Hendrik de Boer, Joeybeth Murphy, and Luke Prince, Josh Harper, Kim Williams, the other Oakland Mission Year teams, and all the others who have a passion to see shalom in Oakland.

Praise God for His provision. Our team has raised about 48% of our support goal, and I am at about 40% (approximately $5,000). I am so grateful to those who have contributed to my ministry already. There are serious financial needs for the work that we are doing and I would ask you to prayerfully consider how you may be able to partner with us in this way.

Praise God for His grace, mercy, love, compassion…and sense of humor. It is such an amazing opportunity to be involved in God’s work. Even when we feel discouraged, I am grateful that God opens my eyes to the little things He has done to bless me each day. I am so thankful for His grace, which allows me the freedom to fail and continue to get up again. I am so thankful for His compassion and tenderness in growing my spirit and teaching me self-forgiveness. I also am really glad God has such a great sense of humor—and that He lets us in on some of what makes Him laugh.

I also thank God for each one of you. Your thoughts, prayers,

and long-distance hugs have truly been felt and appreciated!