other peoples' thoughts

wanted to share a few articles that i have read lately that have stuck with me...


Community Catalysts
this is actually a really good follow up to my last post, and a good reminder that being distinctive and different in a neighborhood can be good! while there are serious issues of difference that incarnational re-locators must wrestle with, blending in completely is not necessarily effective for joining in the work of the Kingdom.

"Humility is a critical element for incarnational communities of people who have relocated and the inclusion of people from the wider community into the community of relocators can be important. But the thing that makes communities catalytic is not that they become the same as the surrounding community, but that they remain distinctive.

A catalyst changes things, not because it is identical to the other elements in a reaction, but precisely because it is different. In fact a very small amount of catalyst can dramatically promote or inhibit a reaction. The presence of a catalyst changes an environment.

These communities often live prophetically - becoming the change needed in an area, but they rarely really look much like the community in which they are planted.  

 For sure our ethnic, class, and power differences need to be viewed with a healthy dose of caution. We must be vigilant in addressing the messianic complex which can accompany groups who choose a life of incarnational mission. We must live lives of reconciliation in every place humans have put up walls. But I can no longer dismiss a community automatically just because it doesn’t look just like the neighborhood in which it lives. In the presence of humility, reconciliation, grace and peace – differences can be catalytic."

South African "Idol"
a little peek into cultural goings-on in South Africa and a reminder that race is (still) a (big) issue there, 16 years after the official end of apartheid. and oh yeah, the white guy won.

"The real issue is socio-economic. It's about who can pay for TV and who can't. Black folks comprise almost 80% of our population, but in M-Netland they comprise only 17% of Idols viewers. And audiences want to see themselves on TV."

The dangerous side of volunteering
another interesting peek into some of the issues that I will probably face when I get to South Africa. the ironic thing about this piece is that these potential harms of short-term volunteering exist everywhere, whether the volunteers come from america or zambia, and are serving in new orleans or the netherlands.  having committed to living in places of need, i have seen first-hand the effects of well-intentioned people who send a message by forming deep bonds and then leaving soon after. i have experienced the effects of abandonment with children who don't understand why everyone who says they care keeps leaving.  this was even something i wrestled with upon my leaving new orleans--is this how my friends there would see me?  and now to see it in light of where i'm going, i have to keep it at the front of my mind when i think about whether i'm serving for my own benefit, or for the good of others.

"The psychological literature talks about attachment theory — very young children are programmed to build attachments… And so, you've got these sort of repeated abandonments — first with young children whose parents may die of AIDS. And then they go to live in an orphanage where you often have high staff turnover.  And then you've got tourists that are coming as sort of the third wave of this abandonment. Children are left behind to remember a series of these foreigners who come in and then leave them there…"   

why i love psychology
i found this so fascinating because it is such a true picture of the human mind, and the way we justify things--mostly our own behavior.  i know this is true of myself, so to see it verified and studied is very reassuring.  it confirms that i'm not alone in the way i'd like to manipulate my own memory, or self-perception. we really would like to believe that if we've ever been bad, at least that was in the past, our "old selves;" we are constantly improving and our "good deeds" more readily fill recent history. our good-ness is closer to who we are today, so we tell ourselves.  this research confirms, though, that no, actually, we're not as good as we'd like to convince others...or ourselves.  but, there's hope, as the scientists point out that our minds often tend to create future selves even better than we are now, demonstrating an appetite for redemption.

“Now, scientists are beginning to learn how memory assists and even amplifies this righteous self-messaging.  In piecing together a life story, the mind nudges moral lapses back in time and shunts good deeds forward, these new studies suggest — creating, in effect, a doctored autobiography. Recognizing this tendency in oneself, psychologists say, can both reduce the risk of lapsing into middle-aged sanctimony and increase moral vigilance for when it matters most: the present.

 ‘The main finding is that if I ask you to tell me about a positive moral memory, you’ll tell me something recent,’ Dr. Escobedo said. ‘If I ask you to tell me about bad moral memory, you’re going to give me something from much further in the past.’

Future selves may score the best reviews of all, said David Dunning, a social psychologist at Cornell. ‘People seem to situate themselves in time differently than they do others,’ Dr. Dunning wrote in an e-mail. ‘Ask students what’s important for gaining an accurate impression of them and they emphasize more their unwritten future potential than they do when asked the same question about another person. We presume that future potential is more rosy than the past is.’"

"Radical Friendship"

 Excerpts taken from a piece written by Rev. Dr. Donna Jones of Cookman United Methodist Church in Philadelphia, as printed in the Spring 2010 edition of Conspire Magazine.


       I used to know how to preach to my church during Black History Month.  We'd dress in our finest garb and process to the beats of DNA-memory in our bones, singing the songs that have brought us through.  It was the one time a year to celebrate being black; to remember ancestors gone by and saints still present...These services were cultural icons for me.
       Or at least they used to be.  That was before my church's pilgrimage from 100 percent African American, to now 70 percent African American and 30 percent other (white, asian, bi-racial). I can no longer assume any shared gut-DNA.  Even my sermon themes are different.
       Take a few weeks ago.  I was preaching reconciliation, trying to make the experience of the church at Corinth--the struggles to build gospel koinonia across ethnic, class, and religious lines--real to my congregation.  "What do you feel when folks of different races and classes move into this neighborhood?" I asked, almost innocently.  "Do they become friends?"
       Pain in the room, but honesty, too.  "No."
       "Why not?"
       "Because they have come to 'help.'"
       The response of our African-American congregants was visceral.  It speaks powerfully of the inequality of social relationships between groups in this nation.


       Whether real or perceived, we don't feel like equals.  There's long history in some of our bones of being viewed as lower-status, incapable persons whose needs are met by getting something from higher-status persons.  There's a long history in some of our bones of feeling privileged, and needing to assuage that karmic good fortune by sharing resources (money, education, energy, and even ourselves) with the "underprivileged."
       Theologians and activists Ched Myers and Elaine Enns suggest that in his two letters to the Corinthians, Paul advocates "patronage from below"--upside-down relationships where power, prestige, and privilege are turned around to create space for "social solidarity."  Corinthians is our book of radical desegregation and reconciliation.
       Social solidarity is relationship, and relationship is radical.  It is very different from reverse patronage, which is what I call the dynamic when racially-aware and well-meaning pilgrims of privilege try to balance power by staying in the background, avoiding leadership, and consciously or subconsciously withholding resources.  Reverse patronage is usually at work when folks of privilege move in to serve or live in a low-income neighborhood, bringing their wealth and social resources to an area devoid of them.  It's behind emails and Facebook postings in which those well-meaning folk tell stories of how much more they have received (from the apparently lower-status crew) in response to their offering.  In exchange, they receive character gains to their account: love, instruction in some of the realities of poverty, the coolness of slumming it, and admiration from their community.
       I sometimes hear well-intentioned, privileged parents admonish children who are embarking on a mission trip to "elsewhere" (some urban, rural, or foreign working or poor community): "You will get so much more out of the experience than you give."  I cringe.  We are caught in the terms of barter, and my people are again at the bottom of the equation: still giving more.


       Simply sharing neighborhoods with one another doesn't work to create the radical beloved community articulated by Martin Luther King, Jr. and enfleshed by Jesus.  And simply inviting diverse folk to the meetings, the demos, and the campaigns certainly doesn't work.  We need another way.
       I believe what works is true friendship--a friendship that comes from empathetic relationship-building over time.  Friendship allows for empathy instead of sympathy.
       ...My elders believed that removing the legal U.S. apartheid system would fling wide the door of hospitality and friendship, casting out the fears fueled by prejudice and replacing them with respect, affirmations of capability, and shared creativity.  Forty years later, it hasn't yet worked out that way.  U.S. citizens remain separate and unequal by race in all quality-of-life indicators (health, education, housing, jobs, economic development, literacy.)  What is a vision that will now move us toward healing?
       Downwardly-mobile pilgrims of privilege who relocate to marginalized neighborhoods certainly model  relocation strategy that moves us past our centuries of legally enforced desegregation.  However, when relationship-building does not occur at a level strong enough to desegregate friendships, we remain segregated.
       Our community's experience of relocators is that they usually reside for a season, and typically maintain their original support systems from afar.  Eventually, personal variables--or plain old "movement frustration"--cause them to leave the neighborhood for more familiar or homogeneous urban, suburban, or rural surroundings.  This "move on" syndrome points to the inescapable power difference between these pilgrim residents and those rooted to the neighborhood.  Those who come in have the economic, relational, and social capital to leave when they choose.


       We need to build reciprocal relationships while remaining conscious of power dynamics.  Empowerment issues are real, but when one group holds back in order to ensure balance of power, benefits (in relationship, resources, wisdom, and strategy) are lost on all sides.  We must all give one hundred percent, and we must offer that from friendship and relationship.  Friendship is reciprocal.  Friendship is meaningful, faithful, and artful.  Friendship is challenging.  Friendship is loving.  Friends make mistakes, but speaking the truth in love, friends forgive, heal, and make mistakes again.  We must forge ahead with the social mess of friend-ness.  
       Ultimately, we will have to learn to gather as friends, as neighbors.  We must join organizations not to integrate them (and certainly not to "help" them), but rather because we share their goals.  We'll have to hang out.  Go to the parties.  Attend the weddings and stay for the reception...
       Church is a great place to become friends.  It offers a unique social environment, rooted and grounded in love, for the purpose of creating family beyond birth-ties.  What could happen if Christian communities truly, radically desegregated?  Miracles.  
       This is difficult, and it will cost us.  Institutional ethnic churches exist for an important socio-political purpose.  They have been places of refuge where we could experience solidarity in our DNA memories, or wrestle with the oppression of systems without having to explain our pain...
       But I think the gain will be worth it.  The last few decades have seen radical disciples moving into marginalized neighborhoods as part of a very necessary and helpful pilgrim journey towards liberation from oppression.  Going forward, our challenge will be to move toward intimacy and rootedness in those neighborhoods.  This is a road less travelled, and its pilgrims will experience joy, challenge, pain, misunderstanding, conflict, alienation, recovery, triumph.  We can trace the beginning of that story in letters to the Corinthians, but I think it will end in Beloved Community. 

_______________________________

       When I first read this piece several months ago, so many things in my heart rang in agreement with what Rev. Jones wrote.  There is so much that I have pursued in my life that mirrors her call to the Church, but I have also been the one excitedly proclaiming how much more I received than I gave while living and serving in marginalized communities.  I have taken advantage of the subtle power dynamics at play.  And none of this was intended as harm, but seeing my self reflected in these words was eye-opening.  
       I had an experience during my time in Oakland which made me wonder if my neighbors would ever really truly see me as one of "them."  Despite appearances and some obvious differences, I really wanted to blend in and become a part of the community.  I didn't want to stick out, I didn't want my differences to send a message of superiority.  I have seen that while this desire to blend may have been coming from a good place, there is a difference between trying live as poor versus living among the poor.  The interwebs tells me that "among" is defined as being surrounded by or in the company of, or being a member of a larger set.  And that is what I desire.  Of course, to authentically live among any group of people different from one's natural environment, one must take certain efforts to sacrifice or blend to some degree.  But the point is not to deny everything I am to become something that my neighbors know I'm really not; the point is to dive in and immerse in a different kind of life in order to be counted as a friend with those who are different from me.  
       As I look forward to moving into Soshanguve, I must remember the Rev. Jones's points about friendship in order to keep my inclination towards power in check.  I know there will be very little opportunity for me to "blend in" with my neighbors, and in fact any attempts to do so will probably stand out even more.  But, I am hopeful for chances to become friends, to be given the gift of invitation into another person's life.  Not because I have the answers, or because my worth is in helpfulness or access to resources; but because in friendship I can reflect Christ's heart for each one of us...that we would be drawn together, and to Him, in love and humility.  

On to New Orleans!

A New Adventure Begins…

It has been exactly three weeks since my Mission Year teammates and I parted ways in Oakland. I have been back in Chicagoland with my parents since then and in a matter of days, we’ll be on the road headed towards New Orleans. New Orleans!?!? Honestly, the shocked remarks have come most from people in the Gulf Coast who I have contacted prior to my arrival. The fact is, over a year after Hurricanes Katrina and Rita, there is still much to be done. When I visited Mississippi in early June, I realized just how much I didn’t know. We were told that it would take at least 10 years for a full recovery, if not more. The Gulf Coast still needs a lot of help and so I am going!
As we drove along the Gulf Coast highway, through towns like Long Beach, Ocean Springs, and Pass Christian on our way to Gulfport, Mississippi, I could not believe my eyes. Such total destruction, buildings left in rubble, mansions completely flattened. At first I was overwhelmed with thoughts of God’s power, a strong hand that could command the winds and waters to bring such devastation. I questioned my role in responding. I wondered what His reasons were for bringing on this storm. I honestly questioned Him: God, since You brought this on, do You just want it to stay this way?? God met me in these thoughts of sadness and confusion and reminded me that His is a story of continuous hope and redemption. Every instance of destruction comes with an opportunity for rebuilding. From Adam to Noah to Nehemiah to Lazarus to Jesus—God has been bringing life and hope out of desperate situations. Throughout history God’s story has been one of bringing His people back to Him and back to His promise. God is providing us, His people, an opportunity to respond to this disaster in love. We are called to be His hands and feet, and that is the work that I am excited to join in rebuilding the Gulf Coast.
The other important reason why I pursued this opportunity was the chance to live again in community. Now when I explained that to my Oakland teammates, they sort of looked at me like I was crazy. Because I must be! Living in community during Mission Year was difficult and frustrating, yet at the same time the best thing for me. It wasn’t the best in an always-the-most-fun sort of way, but best in a hardest-thing-ever-but-most-growth-producing way. I was brought to a place where I could learn things about myself and my understanding of other people that I never would have seen had I lived again by myself or had I chosen to surround myself with only those people who thought and acted just like me. Throughout this past year, I have grown in understanding and appreciation for God’s vision and heart for unity among His people. I have gained a new perspective on what it means for the Body to really work like a body! I want to be a part of this community because I have seen the beauty of God’s vision and long to continue pursuing it. It won’t be easy and it won’t always be pleasant…but worth it? Definitely.
So the next big question after why is what! What will I be doing in New Orleans? Good question. This opportunity has been arranged through a partnership between the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) and Mission Year. Instead of trying to go down and re-create the wheel in disaster recovery, these two organizations have wisely pursued collaborating with existing groups that already have experience working in the Gulf Coast. My official position is Volunteer Coordinator at Desire Street Ministries/CURE. Since 1990, Desire Street Ministries (DSM) has served the impoverished neighborhood around the Desire Housing Project within New Orleans’ 9th ward with programs that meet the residents’ specific needs. Desire Street Ministries exists to revitalize the community through spiritual and community development. Desire Street Fellowship, part of DSM, is a founding member of a local church association called CURE (Churches United for Revitalization and Evangelism). CURE was formed by local pastors who share a common vision for the church’s responsibility in the community. CURE hopes to promote unity among the churches through corporate movements of prayer, fellowship, evangelism, and partnering for a better community.
The short answer for what I’ll be doing in the Volunteer Coordinator position was given to me by my supervisor, Ben: “The most consistent thing is that everyday is different!” Flexibility seems to be the key word in disaster recovery so I’m sure this will be a big lesson for me all year. Some days I will be contacting churches and other groups to recruit volunteer teams, figuring out the needs in the Upper Ninth Ward community where we’ll be working, and trying to match volunteer skills to resident needs. Some days I will be helping those volunteer teams with the logistics of their visit to New Orleans and taking care of various details that come up. Other days I may be doing more administrative duties in the Desire Street/CURE offices. I will be answering phone calls and helping residents try to locate resources and navigate the confusing bureaucratic systems of public assistance. As Ben put it, there are a lot more questions than answers at this point. To learn more, you can check out the websites for Desire Street Ministries and CURE at www.desirestreet.org and www.desirestreet.org/fellowship/cure.html.
As I mentioned above, doing Mission Year gave me such a wonderful opportunity to see how people can partner together to advance God’s Kingdom of love and hope. Without a doubt, I could not have made it through the year in Oakland without my support team sending their love, prayers, gifts, donations, and encouragement from all over the world. My goal is to raise $3,000 to offset the costs of doing this work and living in New Orleans and it is a privilege to offer you the chance to partner with me in this adventure. The residents of the Gulf Coast still need your prayers, as do my teammates and I as we settle in New Orleans. I am completely aware that not everyone can or wants to spend a year living in the Gulf Coast disaster zone, which is why I invite you to join me in this journey through your prayer and financial support. It is in this way that God calls us each individually to unite to bring the good news of life and grace.

with Love,
Emily


If you are interested in coming down to the Gulf Coast at any point to volunteer, please do not hesitate to let me know!

July 2006--Final Mission Year Newsletter

We have been lauded for choosing to give up and sacrifice this year of our lives to spend in the inner-city. Well truly, I’m not sure that’s entirely accurate. At a time in our lives when family wants to know our long-term plans and society wants us to pick a path and stick with it forever, I have been privileged to be given a year not to do something concrete or advance my career path or make any definite plans. Because of gracious and generous support, we were able to spend this time as students of life and love and the kingdom of God. We were challenged to see how the kingdom of God is here and now and advancing in the children playing in the street, the adults dancing on the corner, the bbq’s and loud music and extended family networks.

I’ve been the lucky one…
People thought we were coming here to bless, but we’ve been the ones to receive the blessings. Jesus called us to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, take in the lonely. We’ve done our share of serving here, but truly we’ve been fed, clothed, and welcomed more than I’ve ever experienced.

I’ve been the lucky one…
To be the recipient of such gracious hospitality
To be allowed to spend a year hanging out with some of the most amazing people in the world
To have so many of my stereotypes and assumptions corrected
To be welcomed as family into homes that are so different from my own

People might look at our neighbors or service sites and say that they are lucky since they were able to benefit from the free assistance we provided.
But truly, I’ve been the lucky one…
To realize how much I’ve been given just by chance of where I was born and the people who raised me
To learn grace and freedom and love in a merciful place where there was never more expected of me than I could give. My ability to love has been exponentially expanded by venturing to love people in ways that most touch them, instead of just ways that are easiest for me.

Truly I’ve been the lucky one…
To serve a God who trusts me with His plans, who longs to lay a path before me and watch me choose obedience and faith, in the face of doubt and tempting alternatives
To be a product of grace and forgiveness, and to have been graciously shown that I needed those just as much as I thought I didn’t when I first arrived
To see God’s face in the drug dealer on the corner and the kindergartner who can’t read


It’s kind of strange for me to think now about how I can best pray for and love my Oakland friends now that I’m leaving. We’ve spent this intense year together…or rather, I’ve spent a year sort of invading their lives. And now we’re moving on, each to the next adventure. We’ll always have this year that we shared in our memories, but now life goes on. For some of my friends here, the adventure may not actually seem like one since it’s really just their normal lives, with them continuing to survive each day with remnants of hope and trust and a vision of God’s love. For my teammates, God has different adventures down the road for each of us. Whether we’re going on to college or jobs, this year has changed and grown us in ways we have yet to see fully manifested. In this isolated moment, this year seems like a big deal. But when I look ahead to the rest of our lives, I’m reminded again just how small I am in the hands of such a HUGE God.

Reflecting on all my prayers throughout this year, God has been entirely faithful. He has brought about tremendous changes in my heart and has brought along people that have touched my life. Praise God for: Keekee, Taranicha, Blossie, Je’da, Khalei, Tracy, Traion, Maliek, Lil Will, Cliff, Mason, Darius, Keisha, Knight, Ametria, Jalen, Dreena, Jen, Jahon, Tina, Pastor Hunter, the Lyons family, Hendrik, Luke, Alice, Dejeanne, Diamond, Ann, Jason Pokorny, Barbara, Cathy & Terry, Marilyn, Cheryl, Gabrielle, Ella, Marcel & Markel, Johnny, Freddy, Mo, Jackie, Levina, Joeybeth, Charlene, Anita, the Mojica family, Stephen, Aixa, Kilomoki, Davion, Tumariay, Melvin, Malik, Desiray, Anta’nae, Barbara, Dulce, Abigail, Merari, Efraim, Daisy, Clara, Ella, Kim, Chelsea, Jessica, Karrie, Heather. The only reason why I was able to be here this year and spend time with such amazing people was because of the support I got from all of you! Praise God for all of your prayers, financial gifts, emails, letters, cards, phone calls, and loving thoughts from afar.

If you are the praying type, please keep these friends and neighbors in your prayers. Please pray that our lives here have pointed our friends to some vision of light, love, and hope—not because we’re from the suburbs but because we’re following Jesus. Please pray that God will continue to grow and cultivate the seeds that have been planted during our time in West Oakland. Please pray for God’s love, protection, mercy, and compassion to cover them and for them to make healthy decisions in the future. I hope that I have succeeded in finding a place in your heart for the people I’ve grown to love and for my neighborhood in West Oakland, California. It is my prayer that God draws me back to this place, if not physically then at least in my mind and heart, in thankfulness and praise of all He’s done and is still doing here. I am so thankful that His work does not rest solely on our shoulders. He was here before we came, has been faithful and diligent even when we were discouraged, and will remain steadfast until the end.

April 2006

I find myself edging towards the end of April and facing another newsletter deadline. The irony is that as I read through my previous newsletters to remind myself how far I’ve come and perhaps gain some inspiration for this month’s installment, I was struck by the fact that almost all of my newsletters reflected thoughts and observations that I’m still having even now. Funny how I wrote that I couldn’t believe we had already been here three weeks for that first newsletter and now I’m looking at only about 3 more months until Mission Year ends. I haven’t come up with anything clever or witty for this month, especially since I’m filled with so much uncertainty right now. So again I write to you seeking your prayers and support, offering you the opportunity to partner with what God is doing here.

Pray for me and my team. As third trimester begins, our relationships are strengthening, yet still changing. I do not want to take these girls for granted, or think that I have any of them fully figured out. Please pray that we will remain open and eager to walk with each other through the struggles and triumphs that are yet to come. I am so grateful that God has placed these girls in my life and I pray that we will continue to grow in love for and unity with each other. A new command I give you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.(John 13.34-35)

Pray for our last few months as it would be easier for us to throw in the towel since the end is in sight. Mission Year founder Bart Campolo spoke to us a few weeks before we left for spring break and he exhorted us to “kick it in,” as his cross-country running friends would say. He reminded us that most of the people we encounter will remember our time here solely based on how we finished it. If we give up on people too soon we may be missing one of God’s greatest blessings. Especially after trying for seven months to develop relationships with people, it can be discouraging if it seems to be making no progress. Please pray for a spirit of perseverance in the things God is still trying to teach me about grace, freedom, and True love. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.(Galatians 6.9)

Pray for discernment as all of my teammates and I consider what our post-mission year plans will be. I am praying to be free of distractions as I try to balance thoughts about the future with what we are doing currently. I’m experiencing a definite paradox of choice since I could really do anything and am not sure which direction God is calling me towards. Please pray for clarity but also for a heart clearly seeking God and not just an arrow pointing in a direction.

Pray for my neighbors & friends. Keshia, Knight, new baby Jalen, Ametria, Darius, and Mason are considering moving back to Louisiana to be closer to Keshia’s family. Our team has really grown close with this family and we really want to spend more time with them. Levina is another one of our favorite neighbors—we went over to her house about a month ago to have a Saturday night movie party. She has lived in this neighborhood her entire life and she definitely longs to see these streets free of violence and fear. Keekee and Taranicha are of course also at the top of my prayer list. Please keep their whole family in prayer and pray that God would somehow protect and cover them even in the dangerous situations they might find themselves in. Pray that these girls would grow to see how beautiful and unconditionally loved they are in God’s eyes in such a way that would strengthen them as they prepare to face their teenage years. Please also keep Cathy and Gabrielle in your prayers. I see so much passion in Cathy and I pray that God keeps her on track with Him in spite of many temptations. Gabrielle is another friend from church who we love. Please pray for her as she is a single parent raising her 9 year old son, Gabe. Please also keep my friend Jen in your prayers as she undergoes cancer treatments and seeks to regain custody of her two children. Please also pray for a creative way to show our neighbors how much we appreciate and care about them.

Pray for the city of Oakland. There have been approximately 45 murders so far this year, more than double this time last year and almost half as many as all of 2005. The average age of murder victims last year was 31 years old. Since we’ve been here in September, there have been 85 murders. The mayor and city council of Oakland nearly called a state of emergency last month in order to get enough law enforcement agents on the street to keep the crime wave under control. Please pray that the Church would seize this opportunity to truly be the hands and feet of Jesus in the world.

Praise God for His wisdom and faithfulness. I have been so encouraged by the prayers that I have seen God answer here, right before my eyes. It is evident to me how He prepared a place for us at our church, our service sites, and within the neighborhood. I am so thankful for Pastor Hunter, the Lyons family (our Church liaisons—and so much more), Jahon Pride (music minister at Mt. Zion), Anita Taylor, Jason Pokorny (Volunteer Coordinator at Highland Hospital), Ms. Haynes (assistant principal at Prescott Elementary School), and all the others who have granted me the opportunity to serve and learn alongside them.

Praise God for the neighbors who have opened their hearts and homes to us. We have been so privileged to get to know the people who have welcomed us into their lives. We are very grateful for them and the ways we have been adopted into this neighborhood.

Praise God for World Impact and others in Oakland trying to make an impact for good. God’s spirit is advancing and moving in our neighborhood, and throughout the city, and lives are being changed. Thank God for Hendrik de Boer, Joeybeth Murphy, and Luke Prince, Josh Harper, Kim Williams, the other Oakland Mission Year teams, and all the others who have a passion to see shalom in Oakland.

Praise God for His provision. Our team has raised about 48% of our support goal, and I am at about 40% (approximately $5,000). I am so grateful to those who have contributed to my ministry already. There are serious financial needs for the work that we are doing and I would ask you to prayerfully consider how you may be able to partner with us in this way.

Praise God for His grace, mercy, love, compassion…and sense of humor. It is such an amazing opportunity to be involved in God’s work. Even when we feel discouraged, I am grateful that God opens my eyes to the little things He has done to bless me each day. I am so thankful for His grace, which allows me the freedom to fail and continue to get up again. I am so thankful for His compassion and tenderness in growing my spirit and teaching me self-forgiveness. I also am really glad God has such a great sense of humor—and that He lets us in on some of what makes Him laugh.

I also thank God for each one of you. Your thoughts, prayers,

and long-distance hugs have truly been felt and appreciated!

November 2005--Easy vs. Better

Welcome to this year’s showdown! On one side of the ring we have our defending champion: EASY…and on the other side of the ring we have this year’s challenger: BETTER. Who will win? You’ll have to stay tuned to find out. Alright folks, let’s get ready to RRRUUMMBBLLLEE.

Round One

As the kids play during recess at Prescott Elementary School, I see the easy vs. better battle raging constantly. It seems there is a constant “payback” mentality here, a distorted sense of justice. It’s unclear how much of this comes from kids being kids and how much is a reflection of the norms and values communicated by the unspoken assumptions of this neighborhood. If one boy kicks another at recess, the perpetrator soon becomes a victim as the kid who was kicked seeks to inflict pain on the original kicker. And the cycle begins. In all honesty, trying to discourage this kind of retaliation does not make as much sense to me as it used to. If I get kicked and I know how bad it feels, of course I want to make that other person also writhe in pain. If I have to suffer, he should too. Turn the other cheek has no street appeal here, especially in the first grade. As a part-time classroom volunteer, I’m never really sure what role the parents play in each of these children’s education. I don’t know if I am the sole source of discipline or if they are learning most of their lessons from the older kids who hang out on the street. Life here revolves largely around protecting respect—and respect requires defending. Easy wins out most of the time on the playground. It is better every time to do the right thing and walk away, tell the teacher, understand compassion but translating the gospel’s love your neighbor onto the playground is still a challenge for me.

A few weeks ago one of the girls at Girls Club was talking about a funeral she had attended earlier in the day for a 22 year-old man and his 2 year-old son. He had been shot as another chapter in a 3 year-long fight that had enveloped and ultimately stolen this young man’s life. Part of me wonders if what I see with my kindergartners at Prescott reflects these cycles of the streets. The other day at the hospital I saw a t-shirt that said “Snitches get stitches—Death before dishonor.” With messages like this being communicated to the young people of this neighborhood, I often feel very helpless in stopping this destructive cycle.

Easy: 1 Better: 0

Round Two

It is not difficult to remember why we are here—to love God and love people. But easy comes in with a left hook when I’m tempted to convince myself that this has become my life and I can just go about living here like anyone else in my neighborhood. I don’t see any one else going around on a Saturday to meet neighbors. I don’t see anyone else sacrificing time and energy to invest in people, especially when the returns are uncertain. Right at that moment is when better chimes in, reminding me that although this is my life now, I am here to be intentional and committed to pursuing relationships. And it’s more difficult and often less appealing to keep going at it in meeting new people and going deeper in existing relationships but in the end, there’s no doubt in my mind that this is so much better. Easy doesn’t even compare in this situation, given the length of time that we will be here and the eternal rewards of a deep and loving friendship. It’s not that we come with any special gift or amazing ability to bestow upon our unsuspecting neighbors. It’s only that we come with a heart to share the love that God has shown to us and a desire to see hope, joy, and life abundant flood out of this community. In only two months I’ve been impacted in my habits, my speech, and my lifestyle by the ways of this community. Easy wants me to sit around and wait for relationships to be handed to me on a sliver platter but better wins this round easily, opening my eyes to the infinite ways my heart will grow when invested in genuine relationships with those with whom I share my life.

Easy: 1 Better: 1

Round Three

Earlier this month, Leroy Barber visited with the Mission Year teams in Oakland. As the Vice President of Mission Year, Leroy knows quite a lot about being an urban minister. He’s lived in urban areas all his life and understands a lot about what it takes to really become a part of the neighborhood. He challenged us a lot during his brief visit but one of the things that really stuck with me was the idea of being present without judgment. Basically, I realized he was asking us to live here and admit that we have no idea how to live here. There’s nothing easy about that! Easy wants me to sit with my neighbors and think I know what their life is like because I’ve seen a few movies or watched some television shows that attempt to portray urban living. Easy tempts me into thinking that a college education has prepared me to diagnose and theorize about every situation and condition that I see. Better tells me that my two months of living here is not enough to be able to relate on a level playing field with my neighbors, and that I’m a fool to think it is. Better reminds me that as much as I want to blend in here and live the same life as my neighbors, my background and previous life experience prevent that on a very deep level. This is not to say that I will never find common ground with my neighbors or that it is completely useless to be spending my year in West Oakland. Rather it engages me more to realize that every moment is a learning experience and be thankful that I’ve only needed a few embarrassing incidents to realize how little I know. I’m glad that it’s so much better to admit my ignorance and open myself to be teachable—I’m hungry to learn the ways of life here and to adapt myself to healthy and loving relationships with some amazing people.

Easy: 1 Better: 2

Round Four

It’s amazing to reflect on all the things you never knew when you’re thrown into a situation where you realize how much more you have to grow. It’s not so much that I came here and had to re-learn all I thought I knew—it’s more like I’m learning about myself and about God in ways I never even thought of before. Two big areas for me right now are grace and freedom. I’m beginning to see the necessary role they play in my life and the many ways I’ve previously tried to live without them. Grace is not always the easiest thing for me to grasp but I recently heard it put like this: Grace is God acting in my life to do what I cannot accomplish. Ironically, it has always been easier for me to think I was in control, to think I know what the best solution for a problem is. Now I’m living in a place that needs holistic care and revitalization and I’m just little Emily, full of very little power to change much of anything. If I want to see this neighborhood be revived and infused with hope and light, that can only come from God. And when I need the patience to love my teammates day in and day out, that is something that can only come from God. So while it has been difficult for me to understand the gift of grace, there is no question that is infinitely better than the alternative. Relying on grace and living in freedom provide the space for me to simply live and let God do the work here. I can’t dive in and deeply change anyone’s heart, especially my own, to bring about the change necessary to fully live the lives we were created to live. Thank God that He gives grace abundantly and desires to do that work in us in order to refine our reflections of Him in all we do.

Easy: 1 Better: 3

October 2005

October 2005

Reflections from the Front Lines

A few weeks ago a conversation developed among my teammates about how each of us defines poverty. It seemed that one common theme was that poverty is a condition of being without access to opportunity —opportunity to attain resources, opportunity to pursue higher education, opportunity to exit the very cycle that keeps people in an economically depressed state. Through all this, the paradox of my living here is that this poverty has become for us an opportunity—an opportunity to love those who may feel unloved, an opportunity to help those who feel unhelped, an opportunity to be with those who may feel forgotten and remind them that God still cares! I wonder if the people that I know now consider themselves the “poorest of the poor.” I wonder how they see me and the rest of my team.

Our Pastor recently gave a message about taking steps of faith even when God’s whole plan doesn’t seem clear to us. And he shared that it’s probably a good thing that God doesn’t reveal the whole plan to us from the beginning; if we knew all that He had to take us through to get us to the final destination, we would probably resist the journey. It didn’t hit me until a day later that that is exactly what I’ve been going through here. The fact that God wants me to be here is about the only sure thing I know right now. I’ve been facing challenges and going through necessary struggles that I probably would have avoided had I been given advance warning. I’ve been pushed and confronted by my teammates in ways I never had anticipated. I’ve seen new things about myself that I never had the eyes to see before. I’ve been put in situations and faced realities that have been completely foreign. Not everything is pretty and not everything is pleasant—but I’m in this for the long haul. One of the main Mission Year themes is choosing deep and lasting joy over a more temporary fix of fun. And I will have to make that choice day by day, hour by hour, as I go through the stuff that does not always feel good. The work of a transforming heart is often painful! And everything I thought I knew about joy has been replaced with the realization that I had no idea. I am just beginning to understand what it means to pursue deep joy and to taste true freedom through letting go and trusting grace. This is heavy stuff, and that’s why your prayers are so important to me.

As for my schedule, I’m settling into a routine. On Tuesdays, Karrie and I will be staffing the information booth in the ER waiting room at Highland Hospital. This is the main Alameda County medical facility in Oakland and as such, most of the uninsured population passes through Highland at some point or another. On Wednesdays I volunteer in a first-grade classroom and on Thursdays and Fridays in a kindergarten class at Prescott Elementary School. This has been so joyful but so challenging at the same time. I’ve been reminded of my distaste for the task of having to discipline other people’s children but I’ve also gained a newfound admiration for anyone who submits their lives to teaching children. Wow. There is so much need for assistance in both of the classrooms where I’m working and I so long to see each and every student succeed. Many of the students struggle with things that I had taken for granted in the early years so I look forward to getting to know them better and watching them grow.

On several afternoons I head over to World Impact, which is a Christian community development organization that has been in this neighborhood for about seven years and runs several programs for the community. Wednesday is Girls Club for girls in middle and high school. This is a really cool time to just chill and hang out with the girls in the neighborhood. It’s going to take some time for me to earn credibility with them, but my ability to teach them a new skill (knitting!) has helped a lot. Thursdays and Fridays are Homework Club and I get to do more one-on-one tutoring with elementary school kids. On one particularly difficult day at Homework Club I remarked to my teammates how I had observed how readily kids want to give up on tasks that are difficult. And as soon as these words came out of my mouth I realized that this is also true of me—and most people I know, of all ages! Homework is such a beautiful metaphor for the daily struggles that everyone faces—as we learn and grow we have to go through things that aren’t comfortable or easy or things that we are used to but if only we persevere and endure through the difficulties, how much wiser we come out on the other side. What a great gift that life’s struggles and challenges often teach us more about the journey than the destination!

This place has transformed before my eyes. This is no longer the “inner-city.” This is not “the ghetto”…because this is where I live. The inner-city is somewhere else. Somewhere I used to drive through and look suspiciously at all the people just standing around. The ghetto is where those other people lived. Now those people are my neighbors, they are the children that I work with and the adults I see at the corner stores. These are the people who are vibrant and vital in this community. They are the people that make up this neighborhood. Without them, I would not be here. Without them, this place would not be here. And I can see how integrally tied I am to each of these people. And my prayer is that that connection may be made clearer and clearer for you with each anecdote, each story I share.

As I grow this year, I look forward to sharing in joy that growth with you. I hope that the people that I come to know and love here are people you can come to know and love as well. I pray that my stories encourage and challenge you as well. You are no less an important part of this journey than the people who live in my neighborhood. I love you and appreciate all your prayers and support!

In love and joy,

Emily

Praises…

*God’s steadiness and unchanging nature, as the world changes all around us God remains the same*God is speaking through our church and our pastor*Our team is growing together more and more each day*Relationships developing with neighbors, both young and old*

Prayer Requests…

*I want to keep fighting for joy through my trials and celebrations*For our team to continue to grow together*For God’s protection and provision as His hand covers our hearts, minds, and spirit and all the work we do*For God to help me understand what grace and freedom truly mean*For the children in my classes at Prescott, for the girls at World Impact Girls Club*For some neighbors in particular: Mason and Darius, Keisha and Knight, Elgin, Marilyn, Cynthia, Beverly, Cathy & Terry, and Katrina*

P.S. Check out http://www.missionyear.org/ and go to “Our Cities” to see pictures of all the teams in Oakland

September 2005

September 2005

Dear friends and family,

After three weeks of living in inner-city Oakland, I can say that this experience so far has been everything I had hoped for and nothing I could have imagined. I’ve seen things I never thought I would see and witnessed God’s grace in new and exciting ways.

This neighborhood seems very different and at first almost foreign. A pit bull lives next door and drugs and violence are a way of life on my block. But real people live here, get married here, and die here. People here have birthday parties, give hugs, eat breakfast. I have more in common with my neighbors than I’d often like to believe, but I hope this year makes those similarities clearer.

This month has been different from any other month I’ll have here because we’ve spent it mostly in training and orientation. At first I was frustrated with all the lecturing and preparation and I kept wondering if “regular” people moving into our neighborhood would get this intensive of an orientation. I wanted to believe that we could just slide in like anyone else but then it occurred to me that what we are doing here is inherently different than just someone moving in to have a “normal” life. I realized that we are not just “normal” people moving into the neighborhood to go on with our “regular” lives. We are here to live intentionally different lives of radical love and service to our neighbors. All this safety and preparation information is essential so that we can be wise and sensible about the choices we make and respectful about a neighborhood that is starkly different from everything we are accustomed to.

That being said, I feel like my past experiences have given me a good foundation for this year. I am glad that this is not my first experience living in a city and I’m glad that I have previously spent time working with issues of poverty, racism, and homelessness. However, I still have a lot to learn. I have seen real problems in this community, but also real hope. This is far from the comfortable and safe settings in which I’ve lived before, but God is definitely at work in this place and I know that living here will teach me things I could never have learned elsewhere. Already one of my main intentions for choosing to do Mission Year has been fulfilled—being enabled to live in the same community as the people with whom I’m working. There is a ministry called World Impact located about two blocks from our house and they have a community breakfast every Saturday morning. This past Saturday we served over 200 residents of the community in one hour! It has been so nice to be able to serve these residents and then see them later in the day while we are out getting to know the neighborhood. I think it gains us some credibility when the neighbors see us in a position of serving so they know that our intentions for being here are firmly rooted in love.

It has been quite an adventure to re-familiarize myself to living in community, especially community in such tight quarters. Our two-bedroom apartment is approximately 600 square feet, yet somehow our shower schedule always seems to work out. My roommates all bring something very unique and special to the team and it has been exciting so far to grow together and slowly begin to see what each of our gifts are. This is the first time that Karrie has lived away from home and the first time she has lived with anyone other than her family. I have enjoyed seeing Karrie’s strength and have loved being reminded that I have plenty to learn, even from someone who is five years younger than me. Chelsea has a very strong presence and confident voice. Having Chelsea as a teammate has already challenged me to grow beyond myself and what I am used to. Jessica has a gentle presence and she is a really great leader for our team. I can really relate to Jessica in a lot of ways and I look forward to seeing how this relationship grows. Heather is silly and can make all of us laugh at the most ridiculous things. Her passion for the Timberwolves and the state of Minnesota are astounding. And she really hates broccoli.

Apart from spending time in training and orientation, we have also spent several days canvassing the community to find a service site where each of us wants to volunteer. At first glance, I really did not think that this search would prove fruitful in the immediate neighborhood because it just did not look like there were many options. Much to my pleasant surprise, we have found several really promising opportunities and we have been welcomed at each site. Right now I’ve applied to volunteer at the local elementary school and I’m also hoping to help out with the World Impact after-school clubs. I’m really hoping to get some one-on-one time with a few students in order to develop substantive relationships.

My team is partnered with Mt. Zion Missionary Baptist Church and this experience has also been really great. We have received such an enthusiastic welcome from the congregation. The pastor is so intelligent and passionate and challenging; my whole team cannot wait for each new Sunday to come. Jessica, Karrie and I have already joined the choir and have loved the experience so far. It is such an amazing opportunity to be able to participate in the ministry of the church so early in our time here and witness how God is already moving.

Mission Year time moves very quickly and it’s hard to believe that by the time you receive this letter we will have already been here for almost three weeks. I am nearly 1/6^th of the way towards my support goal of $12,000 and I appreciate all the prayers and support that have come in on my behalf. If you would like to make a donation, you can send your tax-deductible contributions, made payable to Mission Year, in the enclosed envelope. Please be sure to designate your donation towards my support by writing my Account Fund ID# (05-0059) on the memo line of the check. Mission Year will send a receipt for each gift given. Do not write my name anywhere on the check, as this may negate the tax deductibility of your donation. I will be sending update newsletters each month and will try to send along smaller e-blurbs in the interim. I would love to hear from you, especially in a letter or phone call. Keep me posted on your adventures and let me know how I can be praying for you!

In Him,

Emily

Praises…

*God has already opened the doors and hearts of many neighbors for us to meet and begin to form really positive relationships*The way God has placed this specific team in this specific location at this specific time*

Prayer requests…

*Safety and protection in our neighborhood*Team unity as we develop a community culture in our house*For grace and love to abound on our team as we deepen our understanding of each other*For wisdom and discernment in figuring out which service site to partner with*For God’s love to be evident to our neighbors*For more neighbors to open their doors to a potential relationship with us*For the city of Oakland*