On trials & steadfastness...

From the FighterVerses blog on August 29, commentary on James 1:12, "Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.". (Read the full original post here: http://www.fighterverses.com/blog-post/how-do-we-remain-steadfast-in-trials/)


"…People who turn away from God under trial show that they treasure a trial-free existence more than they treasure God.

God's people do not treasure a thornless life. Their chief aim is not to a have a tribulation-free existence. Their chief aim is to see Christ glorified and to be satisfied in the sight of his glory, and this is why they can remain steadfast under trial.

In 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 a trial came to Paul in the form of a thorn in the flesh, and Paul pleaded with God to take it away. God chose to let Paul remain with the thorn in the flesh. Did Paul then forsake God, saying, "What good is it to follow you if I don't achieve what I really want through you?" No. Rather, he began to see his trial as something to boast in, because he saw that Christ was being glorified—Chris's strength & grace were becoming more evident—in Paul's weakness. This is where steadfastness under trial comes together with love for God. Paul's treasure was not a thornless existence, it was Jesus glorified. He loved God, more than anything."

Amen and amen! Lord, I'm certainly not there yet, but may trials increase my steadfastness and my love for you.

The Heart of the Golden Rule

The Grace of God in our Circumstances: Why you weren't Born as an Impoverished Child in an Unreached Nation

Why was I born into such privilege when most of the world wasn't?

How am I using what I was born into to do unto others what I would have them do unto me?

How can I translate that into thanksgiving?

Good questions to ponder...and then to act upon!

like a dagger to my heart, the Truth

whenever i finally sit down and catch up on the hordes of blog subscriptions that i generally neglect for months at a time, i inevitably end up with several that just really hit me in a deep, good way.  so, as a way of reminding myself and sharing with you, i've re-posted them here. (Click on the title of the first two articles for full text.)

The Costume Kingdom (Paul Tripp) 

Love Warns, Love Rebukes (Paul Tripp)

Prayer Answered by Crosses (John Newton)

I asked the Lord that I might grow

In faith and love and every grace,

Might more of his salvation know,

And seek more earnestly his face.

‘Twas he who taught me thus to pray;

And he, I trust, has answered prayer;

But it has been in such a way

As almost drove me to despair.

I hoped that, in some favoured hour,

At once he’d answer my request,

And by his love’s constraining power

Subdue my sins, and give me rest.

Instead of this, he made me feel

The hidden evils of my heart,

And let the angry powers of hell

Assault my soul in every part.

Yea, more, with his own hand he seemed 

Intent to aggravate my woe,

Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,

Blasted my gourds, and laid me low.

Lord, why is this? I trembling cried;

Wilt thou pursue this worm to death?

This is the way, the Lord replied 

I answer prayer for grace and faith.

These inward trials I now employ

From self and pride to set thee free, 

And break thy schemes of earthly joy,

That thou may’st seek thy all in me.

friends, let us not choose comfort over truth. 

on the benefits of traveller's sickness

I must confess that my major concern and anxiety (even in the face of Philippians 4) regarding my travels was getting sick. I wasn’t that nervous about my safety or if I’d get along with the other team members. I honestly wasn’t even that worried about the long flights. But, I found that after a few days of being in Soshanguve, I was nervous about every thing I put in my mouth to eat or drink. It was beginning to get a bit paralyzing! During your pre-trip visit to the travel clinic to get immunizations and other preparations, they try to scare you about all the possible risks and illnesses that could befall any innocent traveler. And I, for one, do not like getting sick. As many people know, it has gotten to the point of distancing myself when I may perchance be exposed to any number of my friends who may be sick at any given time. It definitely inhibits any potential compassion that may come from me. So at any rate, I didn’t want to get sick and I was finding it to consume much of my thoughts. I of course still wanted to enjoy myself and be immersed in the experience; I was just finding it hard to shake these fears.

And then it happened… I was getting ready to go out for a day of planned activities with Luc on Monday and bam! “the runny tummy” as the team calls it. And that was it—that did me in for the next three days. I knew it wasn’t just any random stomachache, but instead one of those that just doesn’t feel better with time and trips to the bathroom. This would just have to be suffered through. And so while I’d love to be able to recount for you what I did each day during my second week in the township, most of it was spent napping and just taking it easy to allow my body time to recover. And while I didn’t enjoy feeling ill and wouldn’t recommend it for other travelers, I can honestly look back and appreciate the experience.

i can recall wednesday morning, being so frustrated with the whole situation. Luc had planned to push Monday’s activity back to Wednesday but I was still feeling a bit weak on Wednesday. I knew in my heart and my mind that God was still in control and his plans were best, but it still irritated me. “I came all the way here to get sick?? That just seems like a waste of time!” I complained to God. It was a very tangible demonstration of when james wrote that we do not know what tomorrow will bring. in the same moment that I fretted over not understanding the bigger purpose of it all, God’s gentle voice reassured me that even if I didn’t understand it or it didn’t make sense, He still in fact had a plan, that made sense in the bigger sense, and that was all the sense that mattered. I was reminded, gently, how small and immediate-minded I am and how much bigger and eternally-focused God is. God’s plans are always better than what we can hatch up—even when we decide to do something that promotes God’s name. I don’t get the sense that God didn’t want us to do what Luc had planned, or that in some way God was trying to teach me I should not have come to South Africa at all. No, instead he used the time of doubt to make clear His control.

Another benefit of my illness, and something that I thank God for, was the opportunity to read “The New Friars”. this was a book that I had run into on several occasions and had added to the mental list of books that I wanted to read, someday. I don’t remember even how it got brought up, but Luc had it and offered to let me read it. Now, I am not a fast reader, but the task came upon me to finish a 185-page book in 4 days! That’s unheard of for me. But it pushed me to be more deeply involved and invested, instead of reading a few pages here and there and then coming back to it after a break of several days. What an amazing thing to be able to read this book which recounts stories of historical and modern friar movements that are reaching out to love the poor and marginalized in Jesus’ name. sure, I could have picked up this book at any of the other myriad times when I came across it. Surely some of what I could have read would have stuck with me. But there is something so valuable about reading a book that speaks directly to the circumstances you find yourself in. Innerchange was one of the “new friar” communities that the author profiled and indeed I witnessed firsthand this ministry on the margins.

And to be honest, it really made me question if this is something I can do. No wait, scratch that. This is NOT something I can do…though it is something that can be done through God’s power in me. Reading the descriptions of slum communities built on garbage mountains and missionaries going to join the poor in absolute desperate conditions reminded me how much I value my personal comfort. Yes I want the poorest of the poor to know Christ’s love and yes I believe that incarnating among people is the best demonstration of Jesus’ actions. But me??? Living among the garbage? Or among the shanty-tin shacks with no plumbing?? The Lord in his infinite wisdom saw to it that in my sickness, I would be afforded the chance to read this book and really crystallize some of my fears and questions about doing the type of ministry that I had come to visit. Perhaps if I had not been sick, and had not read the book, I would have glossed over some of the harder realities of life in the township. Perhaps I would have missed out on some of the conversations with the team that my reading of this book, and marinating on its examples, spurred among us.

Another reason why I’m thankful for this sickness is that it really forced me to slow down. I definitely didn’t think I was coming to South Africa for vacation and even though luc had told me about innerchange’s emphasis on “be”ing rather than “do”ing, I didn’t really know what to expect. Well every step of the way, I was reminded that the priority (in Innerchange…and in God’s kingdom) is people over programs or agendas. The priority was my wellness, not rushing along to accomplish a plan or check off to-do’s. I love restful time but I do not make it a habit. It really is missing the forest for the trees because I often find myself utterly exhausted, even though God has built into His plan a weekly time, devoted just to resting. Sometimes, when we forget that, He sends along nice little reminders to get our attention.

Another reason to be thankful for my sickness, and perhaps a theme that I have stumbled upon, is the gift of my worst fears and anxieties coming true. It’s like when I got into the car accident this summer—I realized soon after that that was my worst nightmare come true. Not only physically, but spiritually too—I had lost all control. In the case this past week with my sickness, it was exactly the thing I was hoping and praying did not happen. This could turn us again to why’s, especially because I know there were others in fact praying for this too. Well, it doesn’t convince me that God does not answer prayers. No, like I said before, I think God answered these prayers in the way that was best. We are limited in our perspective, so we are limited in our prayers. That is why he says he’ll give us abundantly more than we could ask or imagine—our little minds can’t handle His goodness! So, I was afraid of getting sick and then it happened. And I survived. Should this give me an invincible attitude always? Not necessarily. I don’t think this implies some sort of special magical anointing that means that bad things will never happen to me. But I do think it’s a pretty clear and good signal that even when bad things happen, those things do not have the last word. does that mean that the things that I fear will not happen? Or that my mind’s power will in fact continue to bring them to bear? Or that God was somehow punishing me for something? No, I don’t think so. But this builds my faith that even when my “worst-case-scenarios” become reality, God is still faithful and has not changed. He is with me all along and compassionate to me.

on taking risks...

emily 101: i like to be right. i like to make "safe" decisions. i like to be in control and follow procedures to a predictable outcome. i like to be responsible. i like surprises, unless i know they are coming...and then i want to know when and where and how and who so as to mitigate the shock as much as possible. (and then the joy of the surprise has been sucked out.) i like to have the answers. i like to know what i'm doing, and definitely maintain that appearance.

and this big adventure i'm about to go on throws a lot of that stuff out the window. i have been reminded by several people that this whole thing is a big risk! so many variables over which i have no control. what will i be doing? why did i leave my job? how will i be able to raise the money? what if it's not what i'm supposed to do? what if something bad happens to me? yes, all these are good questions and i don't have answers! i have NEVER been a risk-taker, but part of having faith is taking risks. it requires stepping out into what is unseen, and that step can be sure because we have a firm foundation in Christ.

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible... Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 11 & 12)

following God's lead requires me to set aside all those things that i have so often thought were true of myself. God has made me new, and continues transforming my life...so that even i can look at a situation like this and step forward. maybe it will fail, maybe it will set me on a whole different path than what i can imagine. but this doesn't even feel like a risk to me because i know who i'm following. i have felt so many emotions in the past several months and at times i have even wondered to myself, "am i doing the right thing?" and amidst all of my wonderings, i do not feel regret. i believe that as i seek the Lord with all my heart, He is faithful and loving to lead me in the way that He would have me to go. parents want the best for their children; the children need to trust that even when many questions remain unanswered. and the Father who is in control and is at work redeeming all of creation has invited us to come along. so our best bet is to hang on for the ride!!

Holiest of Holies

With Christmas just a matter of hours away, I am struck by a passage of scripture unrelated to Jesus' manger-laden birth, yet fundamental to his reason for being born...

"Think about that first covenant for a moment. Even that covenant had rules and regulations about how to worship and how to set up an earthly sanctuary for God. In the Book of Exodus, we read how the first tent was set aside for worship--we call it the holy place...Behind a second dividing curtain, there was another tent which is called the most holy of holy places...

Here's my point: When all is prepared as it is supposed to be, the priests go back and forth daily into the first tent to carry out the duties described in the law. But once a year, the high priest goes alone into that second tent, the holy of holies, with blood to offer for himself and the unwitting errors of the people."

You see, the priest, being human with a heart just as prone to sin as his people, needed his own atonement before offering any atoning sacrifices for his people. This was a never-ending cycle. The priest was appointed by God to this office, but in no other way was he made or exempt apart from the law and its demands. The priest had no special way of attaining cleanliness, apart from the same rituals through which he guided other worshippers.

"As long as that first tent is standing, the Holy Spirit shows us, the way into the most holy of holy places has not yet been revealed to us. That first tent symbolizes the present time, when gifts and sacrifices can be offered; but it can't change the heart and conscience of the worshipper...

When the Liberating King arrived as High Priest of the good that comes to us, He entered through a greater and more perfect sanctuary that was not part of the earthly creation or made by human hands. He entered once for all time into the most holy of holy places--entering, not with the blood of goats or calves...but offering His own blood and thus obtaining redemption for us for all time. Think about it: if the blood of bulls or of goats, or the sprinkling of ashes from a heifer, restores the defiled to bodily cleanliness and wholeness, then how much more powerful is the blood of the Liberating King, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself as a spotless sacrifice to God, purifying your conscience form the dead things of the world to the service of the living God?

This is why Jesus is the mediator of the new covenant: through His death, He delivered us from the sins that we had built up under the first covenant, and His death has made it possible for all who are called to receive God's promised inheritance. For whenever there is a testament--a will--the death of the one who made it must be confirmed because a will takes effect only at the death of its maker; it has no validity as long as the maker is still alive. Even the first testament--the first covenant--required blood to be put into action...Under the law, it's almost the case that everything is purified in connection with blood; without the shedding of blood, sin cannot be forgiven."

Here we are reminded that what is most real, what is most true, is the unseen reality. Take the temple in Jerusalem, the holiest place on earth. It seemed real enough, with its massive stone construction, constant flurry of rituals, and daily offerings. But the writer tells us that it was merely a copy or shadow of another place, the heavenly temple. Whatever took place in this shadowy temple could not change the realities of alienation from God, sin, and death. Whatever else seems real around us can't shade the fact that the truest part of our selves lies within, our heart and soul, which cannot be hidden or changed apart from the one who created us.

Every year on a most special day, the Day of Atonement, the high priest would don his priestly garb and enter the most holy of holy paces in the temple. His task was profound, his duty dangerous: he must appear before God carrying the sins of his people. All the sins of Israel were concentrated in him as he carried the blood of the sacrifice into the divine presence. But there was another day, a Day of Atonement unlike any other, where Jesus, the Liberating King, concentrated in Himself the sins of the world, hanging on a cross not far from the temple's holiest chamber. Indeed, for a time, He became sin. But unlike the high priest in the early copy of the temple, the crucified and risen Jesus entered the true temple of heaven and was ushered into the divine presence. He who had embodied the sins of the world carried His own sinless blood into the holy presence. Jesus' death was the sacrifice and his resurrection was the entrance into the holiest of holies, the true presence of God, wherein he carried the sins of the world as the ultimate atoning offering. At that moment, everything changed.

"The Liberating King did not enter into handcrafted sacred spaces but into heaven itself, where He stands in the presence of God on our behalf. There He does not offer Himself over and over as a sacrifice (as the high priest on earth does when he enters the most holy of holy places each year with blood other than his own) because that would require His repeated suffering since the beginning of the world. No, He has appeared once now, at the end of the age, to put away sin forever by offering Himself as a sacrifice...

We have seen how the law is simply a shadow of the good things to come. Since it is not the perfect form of these ultimate realities, the offering year after year of these imperfect sacrifices cannot bring perfection to those who come forward to worship. If they had served this purpose, wouldn't the repetition of these sacrifices have become unnecessary?...These sacrifices actually remind us that we sin again and again, year after year. In the end, the blood of bulls and of goats is powerless to take away sins"

Picture this: the worshippers come to the temple everyday, greet the priest they see everyday and hand him their daily sacrifice. He goes in, takes care of business, and comes out. "See you tomorrow, " they say to each other as they part ways. Just that scene is a clear reason why we need a once-and-for-all solution to this sin problem. I wonder if these people groaned, ached with the painful knowledge that these sacrifices, while required by God, would never be enough to thoroughly and actually cleanse their hearts and free them from the burden of sin. God asks of us obedience, and a contrite heart...steeped in the knowledge that no earthly action or routine of our own will ever be sufficient to heal our broken souls.

"In the first covenant, every day every priest stands at his post serving, offering over and over those same sacrifices that can never take away sin. But after the Liberator stepped up to offer His single sacrifice for sins for all time, He sat down in the position of honor at the right hand of God...When there is forgiveness such as this, there is no longer any need to make an offering for sin."

From the letter to the Hebrews, chapters 9 & 10

In this Christmas season, Easter must not be far from our minds. God willingly, lovingly, and joyfully sent His only Son to earth. He entered as any man would, in the form of an infant. He came and lived to fully know the human experience. And He came and lived with the full knowledge of His ultimate purpose. He was born to die. He came to serve as the only atonement that we would ever need. How his heart must have broken as he looked upon the people he loved and lived among, knowing how deeply they needed the healing that only He could offer. But how his heart must have rejoiced knowing that the generations of partial sacrifice could end. How his heart must rejoice now to see that His mission to earth, from babe to grave to resurrection, was not in vain. And he calls at this time, from a cradle in the hay, to those who will hear and respond. He calls to come, join Him in the truest way of life. Come, follow the baby who brings us peace and grace.

to see life like this...

the inspiration of this boy's story is bringing me to tears. amazing.

stuck in my head

over the past month or so, i have not been able to get a certain song out of my mind...

Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness
and all these things shall be added unto you,
allelu, aleluia.
Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word
that proceeds from the mouth of God,
allelu, aleluia.
Ask, and it shall be given unto you, Seek, and ye shall find.
Knock, and the door shall be opened unto you,
allelu, aleluia.

it's a simple song and it's no small thing that it has been revolving in my
brain for some time.  it is an important reminder that i must keep
coming back to.

you see, i'm at that point where everyone (including myself) wants to
know "what’s next."  when i decided to come to new orleans, i was
warned by more than one person that i was really just delaying
the inevitable by doing another one-year program.  while i disagree
with this statement at some level, since even the short-term decisions
and plans that we make add up to a long-term compilation (that
john lennon quote comes to mind, “life is what happens when you
are busy making other plans”), i agree that it is somewhat easy to
pick one-year programs and not really consider the longer-term.  
and i must admit i haven't minded putting that off in the past.  i
think there's a lot of complex reasons why i've avoided really facing
the question of what i want to do in my life, some good and some
questionable.  and while i'm getting there, making progress in the
life-long process of thinking about what i would like to do in my life,
i have been reminded over and over again to seek God first.  so often,
i want to seek an answer or a magical finger pointing me in the right
direction.  but no, i'm told to wholly seek Him first.

Matthew wrote about a time that Jesus taught his disciples in the art of
not worrying. 

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what
you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will
wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body
more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the
air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns,
and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you
not much more valuable than they? Who of you by
worrying can add a single hour to his life?
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the
lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.
Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his
splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is
how God clothes the grass of the field, which is
here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire,
will he not much more clothe you, O you of little
faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we
eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we
wear?' For the pagans run after all these things,
and your heavenly Father knows that you need
them. But seek first his kingdom and his
righteousness, and all these things will be
given to you as well. Therefore do not worry
about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry
about itself. Each day has enough trouble of
its own."  (Matthew 6.19-34)

i think it's actually pretty easy for me to trust God to provide food, clothes,
shelter on a day to day basis.  but the trickier part is trusting Him to
provide a way, trusting that if I solely seek Him and put the things
of His Kingdom forefront in my mind, that ALL ELSE will be taken
care of.  this is the part where practical emily says "ok ok, i get it, You
will provide my food and clothes. No problem.  but God, i think there
are some logistical details you're neglecting. like where will i work?
where will i live?"  ha! to suggest there is a detail that God is
neglecting, no matter the category, is like suggesting to the sun
that it has forgotten how to shine or suggesting to the earth that
it has forgotten how to spin.  it is contrary to the nature of the
very thing which i am addressing--in other words, impossible.  i
have to remind myself to remember that the “all these things”
which will be given to me do not just include food and shelter
but merely all that I need to live—a plan, a hope, a direction,
and enough faith by which to keep up the pursuit.   

cue stage-left, Faith.  faith is the assurance of things hoped for, things not
seen.  so, if i am to trust and believe and live with abandon in the assurance
of truth that by my pursuing God (and not a career path or "THE right
answer" or plan-of-my-own-creation) He will take care of all the rest, i
need to have some serious assurance of things not seen.  because it makes
no sense, it's completely upside down. the world says it's ok to trust, but
make sure you tie up any possible loose ends in case it comes back to get
you.  the world says pick a career or life-path and go at it like your life
depends on it...because it does. and God says simply and calmly to my
spirit: Follow Me.  there's no room for argument there.

talk about an upside down view/Jeremiah...in Acholi-land?

i have been reading through the book of Jeremiah again and have been
struck by several things. the first is in the message that God calls
jeremiah to deliver to the people being taken captive by the Babylonians.
he tells them they have two choices: fight back & die or surrender &
live.  The Israelites were warned of this captivity and yet refused to
repent in response to God's mercy.  it seemed to them that they had to
fight to protect their land, their families, their lives.  however, God told
them that if they fought they would die.  if they accepted what seemed
to be the illogical—to surrender to a sworn enemy—they would actually
live and prosper in the end.  How nonsensical  is that?  our culture tells
us to fight for our lives, fight for our rights.  we know we have to protect
ourselves because it seems we cannot trust anyone else to protect us.  
but God says give up and trust Me.  He tells His people that the fight
will cost them their lives but their surrender will open a door to future
blessings.  they will not die in captivity, if they remain surrendered to
God, and will be released to greater blessing into God's promises.  

an oft-quoted passage of scripture is jeremiah 29.11:  "For I know the plans
I have for you,” declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm
you, plans to give you hope and a future." reassuring, certainly, and a look
at the context of this verse sheds some interesting light.

This line is found in a letter from God to His people in exile.  Jeremiah
writes: This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel,
says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to 
Babylon: "Build houses and settle down; plant gardens
and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and
daughters; find wives for your sons and give your
daughters in marriage, so that they too may have
sons and daughters. Increase in number there;
do not decrease.  Also, seek the peace and
prosperity of the city to which I have carried
you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it,
because if it prospers, you too will prosper”…
This is what the LORD says: "When seventy
years are completed for Babylon, I will come
to you and fulfill my gracious promise to
bring you back to this place. For I know the
plans I have for you," declares the LORD,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.  Then
you will call upon me and come and pray
to me, and I will listen to you.  You will
seek me and find me when you seek me
with all your heart. I will be found by you,"
declares the LORD, "and will bring you
back from captivity. I will gather you
from all the nations and places where I
have banished you," declares the LORD,
"and will bring you back to the place from
which I carried you into exile." 
(Jeremiah 29.4-14)

encouraging message yes, though it comes only after being told the exile
will last 70 years.  indeed i intend to live a life pursuing the welfare of
the place where i live because i have seen how my welfare is wrapped up
in that.  but how appealing is it to pursue the good of the land to which
you've been unwillingly sent?  how distracted am i on what seems like
punishment to hear that God is clearly intending to use it for my good
and His glory? His words of promise are true, but how much more
value do they have when we see that this promise was coming to people
who "should have" already lost all hope.  This promise was coming
in an unknown land, after being taken captive.  

last night, i slept on the Tulane quad to take part in a simulation of a tiny
taste of what life is like for the Acholi people in northern Uganda.  the
Acholi, similar to the Israelites, have been forced to leave their homes,
land, and livelihoods in the midst of a 21-year civil war that is tearing
their country apart. lately i have wondered, as i have before, how i can
reconcile my knowledge and faith of a loving, just, and righteous God
with all the injustice in the world.  i understand why bad things happen,
but I struggle with why bad things are allowed to continue for so long...
and how God's word can be comforting to people who are starving to
death because of a national situation that they did nothing to initiate or
perpetuate.  i have been reminded that in these times, it is God's
compassion that speaks most clearly and loudly.  while i believe in
a sovereign God, i do not think that means that God watches the world's
evil with pleasure.  to the contrary, i believe that God holds the hands
of the dying mothers, carries the starving babies in His arms and
mourns, weeps tenderly, with them.  i don’t think that any of this
pain or suffering is lost on God, but i just wish He would put it
all to an end!

jeremiah has given me hope, yet again, for the Acholi people and others
who suffer in lands across the world.  God has spoken and His promises
are true--He speaks of a hope that is unseen.  He tells us of a day when
wars will cease and there will be no more tears.  and i think a lot of the
time that He spends talking about justice and righteousness for the
oppressed and abused is a call for those of us who aren’t living in
oppressive situations to break those burdens for our brothers and
sisters who are. i wonder at God how He can write that He delights
in love, justice, and righteousness in the earth when all this suffering
happens but i think that's the point.  He doesn’t delight in the
suffering, but does delight when people respond in love.  

as i read through another section of what God said to His people in
captivity, i caught another glimpse of hope for the Acholi people in
northern Uganda.  He has promised: 
The people who survived the sword found grace in the
wilderness…I have loved you with an everlasting
love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to
you...again you shall take your tambourines, and
go forth in the dance of the merrymakers.  Again you
shall plant vineyards on the mountains of
Samaria...see I am going to bring them from the
land of the north, and gather them from the
farthest parts of the earth, among them the
blind and the lame, those with child and those
in labor, together; a great company, they shall
return here...I will turn their mourning into joy,
I will comfort them, and give them gladness for
sorrow…Keep your voice from weeping, and your
eyes from tears; for there is a reward for your
work, says the Lord: they shall come back from
the land of the enemy; there is hope for your
future... (Jeremiah 31)

i cannot imagine the faith it must take just to survive each day in
Acholi-land, but even more difficult would be surviving without
any faith, any hope of a rescue.  

and God promises the same to me.  His word is to me as it was to the
Israelites and as it is to the Acholi--fight & die or surrender & live.
i must choose to believe, i must ask the Holy Spirit to move me to believe.
i cannot make myself have faith, but i must ask to be open enough to
receive it.  i must surrender to the hope that God is calling me to,
sacrificing the smaller idols that i am tempted to fill my life with. i must
surrender to the truth that God will meet all my needs, even those
logistical ones that i am so tempted to doubt. i must surrender to seeking
God first, and trusting that all else will fall into place. i must surrender to
the love that set me free from wandering in the desert, set me free to a life
that i could never achieve on my own.  i cannot imagine the faith it must
take to survive in Uganda and i ask each day for the faith to survive in
my own land.  

Let us hold unswervingly to the faith we profess, for the One who promised is faithful.

(Hebrews 10.23)

This is a story about a man named Jeremiah. Jeremiah was not a very happy man since the call that God had put on his life put him in an unfavorable position with many people. He felt pretty socially awkward, you see, because he always had bad news to share with the people who lived around him. And it was bad news that God had told him to share. It made Jeremiah sad and mad and frustrated. He regretted the day God gave him life. However, God showed great compassion to Jeremiah. He allowed Jeremiah to complain and whine and cry and never once revoked His call from Jeremiah's life. God showed Jeremiah great faithfulness by reminding Jeremiah of His great promises for the people that He loved (including Jeremiah and his rebellious neighbors).

At one point, God told Jeremiah to share with the people the upcoming destruction of their land. This did not make Jeremiah happy, but he knew what his job was. God was deeply saddened and angered by the disobedience of the people, especially since He had tried to show them the way to real life and true joy but they had chosen other pursuits instead. Jeremiah was being sent to all sorts of nobles and royalty and important people to tell them God's plan for the city. No one really believed Jeremiah or heeded his advice.

In the midst of all this, God told Jeremiah to buy some land in the city. Jeremiah was a little iffy on this but he recognized God's voice when he heard it, and he didn't want to be among his disobedient neighbors, so he did what he was told. Just then, Jeremiah's cousin came to him, offering to sell him some land.

Jeremiah went through with the purchase and felt confident as he heard God reassure him. "Take these documents, both the sealed and unsealed copies of the deed of purchase, and put them in a clay jar so they will last a long time. Life is going to return to normal. Houses, fields and vineyards will again be bought in this land."

Now, just because Jeremiah was an obedient and faithful worker for God did not mean that he always understood why God did what He did. Jeremiah understood that displaying faith often meant acting even in uncertainty. But that didn't stop him from confronting God with this uncertainty.

"Dear God," Jeremiah prayed, "You created earth and sky by Your great power—by merely stretching out Your arm! There is nothing You can't do. You're loyal in Your steadfast love to thousands upon thousands—but You also make children live with the fallout from their parents' sins. Great and powerful God, highest above anything else that is worshipped, determined in purpose and faithful to see Your plans completed, You see everything that men and women do and respond appropriately to the way they live, to the things they do.

"'You performed signs and wonders in the country of Egypt and continue to do so right into the present, right here in Israel and everywhere else, too. You've made a reputation for yourself that doesn't diminish. You brought your people Israel out of Egypt with signs and wonders—a powerful deliverance!—by merely stretching out your arm. You gave them this land and solemnly promised to their ancestors a bountiful and fertile land. But when they entered the land and took it over, they didn't listen to you. They didn't do what you commanded. They wouldn't listen to a thing you told them. And so you brought this disaster on them.

"Oh, look at the siege ramps already set in place to take the city. Killing and starvation and disease are on our doorstep. The Babylonians are attacking! The Word you spoke is coming to pass! And yet you, God, the Master of the universe, even though it is certain that the city will be turned over to the Babylonians, also told me, Buy the field. Pay for it in cash. And make sure there are witnesses.'"

And God responded to Jeremiah, “Stay alert! I am God, the God of everything living. Is there anything I can't do? No doubt about it, I'm handing this city over to the Babylonians and Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon. He'll take it. The attacking Chaldeans will break through and burn the city down: All those houses whose roofs were used as altars for offerings to Baal and the worship of who knows how many other gods provoked me. It isn't as if this were the first time they had provoked me. The people of Israel and Judah have been doing this for a long time—doing what I hate, making me angry by the way they live.

"This city has made me angry from the day they built it, and now I've had my fill. I'm destroying it. I can't stand to look any longer at the wicked lives of the people of Israel and Judah, deliberately making me angry, the whole lot of them—kings and leaders and priests and preachers, in the country and in the city. They've turned their backs on me—won't even look me in the face!—even though I took great pains to teach them how to live. They refused to listen, refused to be taught. Why, they even set up obscene god and goddess statues in the Temple built in my honor—an outrageous desecration! And then they went out and built shrines to the god Baal in the valley of Hinnom, where they burned their children in sacrifice to the god Molech—I can hardly conceive of such evil!—turning the whole country into one huge act of sin.

"But there is also this Message from me, the God of Israel, to this city that is being ravaged by Babylon. Watch for this! I will collect them from all the lands to which I will have driven them in my anger and rage and indignation. Yes, I'll bring them all back to this place and let them live here in peace. They will be my people, I will be their God. I'll make them of one mind and heart, always honoring me, so that they can live good and whole lives, they and their children after them. What's more, I'll make a covenant with them that will last forever, a covenant to stick with them no matter what, and work for their good. I'll fill their hearts with a deep respect for me so they'll not even think of turning away from me.

"Oh how I'll rejoice in them! Oh how I'll delight in doing good things for them! Heart and soul, I'll plant them in this country and keep them here! I will certainly bring this huge catastrophe on this people, but I will also usher in a wonderful life of prosperity. I promise. Fields are going to be bought here again, yes, in this very country that you assume is going to end up desolate—gone to the dogs, unlivable, wrecked by the Babylonians. Yes, people will buy farms again, and legally, with deeds of purchase, sealed documents, proper witnesses—and right here in the territory of Benjamin, and in the area around Jerusalem, around the villages of Judah and the hill country, the Shephelah and the Negev. I will restore everything that was lost.”

Jeremiah was feeling very encouraged by what he heard from God. God’s promises never fail and here He was promising to bring His people back to their land and back to their lives. Jeremiah didn’t see it on the horizon and he couldn’t figure out the how of God’s plan, but he chose to trust.

A little while later, God shared more with Jeremiah. “Call to me and I will answer you. I'll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own. This is what God, the God of Israel, has to say about what's going on in this city, about the homes of both people and kings that have been demolished, about all the ravages of war and the killing by the Chaldeans, and about the streets littered with the dead bodies of those killed because of my raging anger—about all that's happened because the evil actions in this city have turned my stomach in disgust.

"But now take another look. I'm going to give this city a thorough renovation, working a true healing inside and out. I'm going to show them life whole, life brimming with blessings. I'll restore everything that was lost to Judah and Jerusalem. I'll build everything back as good as new. I'll scrub them clean from the dirt they've done against me. I'll forgive everything they've done wrong, forgive all their rebellions. And Jerusalem will be a center of joy and praise and glory for all the countries on earth. They'll get reports on all the good I'm doing for her. They'll be in awe of the blessings I am pouring on her.

"Yes, you're going to look at this place, these empty and desolate towns of Judah and streets of Jerusalem, and say, "A wasteland. Unlivable. Not even a dog could live here." But the time is coming when you're going to hear laughter and celebration, marriage festivities, people exclaiming, "Thank God. He's so good! His love never quits," as they bring thank offerings into God's Temple. I'll restore everything that was lost in this land. I'll make everything as good as new. This coming desolation, unfit for even a stray dog, is once again going to become a pasture for shepherds who care for their flocks. You'll see flocks everywhere—in the mountains around the towns of the Shephelah and Negev, all over the territory of Benjamin, around Jerusalem and the towns of Judah—flocks under the care of shepherds who keep track of each sheep.' God says so.

"Watch for this: The time is coming when I will keep the promise I made to the families of Israel and Judah. When that time comes, I will make a fresh and true shoot sprout from the David-Tree. He will run this country honestly and fairly. He will set things right. That's when Judah will be secure and Jerusalem will live in safety. The motto for the city will be, "God Has Set Things Right for Us." God has made it clear that there will always be a descendant of David ruling the people of Israel and that there will always be Levitical priests on hand to offer burnt offerings, present grain offerings, and carry on the sacrificial worship in my honor.

"If my covenant with day and my covenant with night ever fell apart so that day and night became haphazard and you never knew which was coming and when, then and only then would my covenant with my servant David fall apart and his descendants no longer rule. The same goes for the Levitical priests who serve me. Just as you can't number the stars in the sky nor measure the sand on the seashore, neither will you be able to account for the descendants of David my servant and the Levites who serve me.

"Have you heard the saying that's making the rounds: 'The two families God chose, Israel and Judah, he disowned'? And have you noticed that my people are treated with contempt, with rumors afoot that there's nothing to them anymore? Well, If my covenant with day and night wasn't in working order, if sky and earth weren't functioning the way I set them going, then, but only then, you might think I had disowned the descendants of Jacob and of my servant David, and that I wouldn't set up any of David's descendants over the descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. But as it is, I will give them back everything they've lost. The last word is, I will have mercy on them."

Sometimes I feel like Jeremiah, looking out on a land that often seems desolate and destroyed. I see this place and I wonder what good can come out of it. But then I turn and look with faith. Look to the promises that God has made and I feel comforted and reassured. God is calling us to rebuild, to buy land and make this place new. God is moving and using His people to bring restoration to this place. He is a God of restoration and faithful promises.

A week in the life

Life here is now measured in pre-Katrina and post-Katrina terms so I thought you might like to catch a glimpse of my post-Katrina life down here in New Orleans. Here is a rough sketch of what this past week was like for me.

I get to work around 8:30ish am with Emily, one of my teammates and we have a brief check-in time with our supervisors, Ben and Pastor Willis. We're reading through Bob Lupton's book "And You Call Yourself a Christian" together and talking about what it really means and looks like to love our neighbors. It's not as easy as it might seem, especially in the complexities of today's urban communities. I really appreciate this opportunity to spend non-logistical/administrative/"work" time with Ben and Pastor Willis since they have different perspectives from which I can learn a lot. Plus, it shows that they are really committed to helping us grow into our work here, instead of it just being a long list of things-to-do. As for what we else we do during the work day: meetings, making contact with groups who want to volunteer, helping Ben and Pastor Willis stay organized, and furthering the vision of helping to make the Upper Ninth Ward a desirable place to live.

On Monday and Tuesday afternoon, we went with Ben up to Baton Rouge to visit Desire Street Academy in its new home. The school was started in 2002 by Desire Street Ministries after the staff realized that after-school tutoring within the current public school system would still leave the students lacking in necessary skills and education to succeed beyond high school. So this school was formed. It had been housed in a large multi-purpose ministry building right in the neighborhood, but the storm changed all that. Last year the school held classes and boarded students at a camp in Florida. This year, it has more permanently relocated to Baton Rouge. It will probably stay here for a while, though there are hopes to bring it back to New Orleans eventually. Since the DSA sports teams are still technically part of the New Orleans sports league, all the home games must be played in New Orleans. So we get to watch the high school basketball games this winter!

On Wednesday night, we were invited to a bar-be-que with a year-long relief team from Campus Crusade for Christ. I have been surprised to meet so many other young people who have committed a year to helping New Orleans rebuild. It is so encouraging to us to see how the efforts to rebuild this city have really been driven by volunteers. And, it’s encouraging to know we'll have another group of young people we could hang out with this year who might be able to understand some of the struggles and frustrations we will face. We hope to spend more time with these friends throughout the year.

Thursday night we got a real sampling of New Orleans cuisine. Leroy Barber, president of Mission Year, was in town for some meetings and wanted to hang out with my team. We found a great restaurant/grocery that served authentic Creole cuisine. On the table for dinner were po-boy sandwiches, etouffe, red beans and rice, and of course jambalaya. (Every time I say that word it still reminds me of George on Seinfeld when he wants his "jam-ba-layyaaaa") That was deeeelicious. Then, to top it off, we had dessert at Creole Creamery. They have some crazy ice cream flavors like sassafras-chicory, lavender-honey, cucumber-dill, Creole-cream cheese. They also have some more normal flavors and I presume this will be a spot that is frequented by my team this year.

We knew we would be hosting our first volunteer team this coming Monday, so on Friday we checked out a house that still needed to be gutted. This house belonged to a family in the Desire Area that had just moved back into the city from Houston the previous week. We ran into them when we were driving around, mapping out the status of the neighborhood. Being in their house was CRAZY! They had just gotten their FEMA trailer (over a year since the storm) and nothing has been done in the house. As we walked in, stepping over carpet and mattresses and TVs still caked in a thin layer of dry mud, I wondered about this family. I wondered about the people who lived here, who called this place home. The woman we met that day driving through the neighborhood, she owns this place. I wondered what those moments during the storm were like for them. I wondered if they had scrambled up to the attic when the water began to flow into their street, their block, their house. The freezer and fridge still sit in the living room where they had undoubtedly floated. I saw a kid’s bike covered in mud and dirt in a back room and wondered about the little person who used to ride it. The water line was still visible on the wall, I even wiped a little of the dirt off the wall with my finger. And now, everything needs to go. The walls, the carpet, the furniture, the TVs, the computer, the fridge. Everything. This house, that used to be a symbol of rest and place to come back to—going to be wiped out down to the framing. It just made me wonder about the memories and moments and lives those walls had seen.

Saturday was the District 7 planning meeting, hosted by ACORN. (Now just for some background about the planning process in New Orleans…Over 80% of the city was flooded during the storm. That's a lot, but it's not every neighborhood. Initially, individual neighborhoods were making recovery and rebuilding plans, hoping to make their section of the city better than before the storm. Then the city decided that instead of just updating the neighborhoods that had been flooded, they wanted a plan for the entire city. Hence, the Unified New Orleans Plan (www.unifiedneworleansplan.org) In the Unified plan, each neighborhood is represented by some planning group. District 7, which includes the upper ninth ward, is being represented by ACORN (www.acorn.org)) So, this was actually the FIRST District 7 UNOP meeting. Yes, that's right, over a year post-Katrina and they're having the first meeting. As I sat in the back of the meeting, I thought about what I had written previously about the spirit of the people in New Orleans. Yes there’s a spirit of wanting to rebuild but its stemming from a frustration and exhaustion from having no answers, getting the run-around, still not having their houses fixed—no place to sleep! People are sick and tired of not being given answers, not given help, not given hope. This is a planning meeting (which is far from the implementation phase), and they were showing boards and notes from all sort of community planning that had been done pre-Katrina. And we’re trying to do all this with neighborhoods that maybe didn’t even talk to each other before the storm. Now they’re supposed to suddenly be united? People want their liiiiiives back. we’re at this planning “vision” meeting and the facilitator is asking them to imagine what they could have in their community by 2010—2010?!?! Some of the people here don’t know where they’ll be sleeping TONIGHT! And years and years and years of crooked New Orleans politics have taught residents not to trust anything that comes from the government. So there’s so many complex layers upon layers. And to be honest, the work that’s been done for the most part is because these people were fed up of waiting for someone ELSE to help them and they just decided to help themselves. They found someone to gut their houses, they harassed the energy company, they stayed all day, everyday on the phone with FEMA. They’re tired of waiting.

But my new friend Paulette reminded me, as we sat in the back listening to the meeting, "I know where my help comes from." Our hope and our help will ultimately not come from the government or politicians. There is a limited amount of resources and the interests of running a city are unfortunately not always dictated by the interests of its most vulnerable citizens. I have been encouraged to remember that God stands by with a heart that breaks for the oppressed and mistreated. God provides a hope that doesn't promise immediate results, but does promise a sovereign force in control. When we have no one else to look to for help, we can still go to the One who has created us all and holds us in the palm of His hands.

After the meeting, we drove around the neighborhood to continue in our mapping efforts and someone stopped us. We were driving slowly and taking notes, really not making any attempts to blend in. The man came over to see what we were doing and when we explained that we were with Desire Street and Pastor Willis, he immediately gave us the scoop on the neighborhood. I realized this was the husband of a woman in the meeting who had shared her own story of trying to get back to the neighborhood. The energy company refused to turn on her power since there were no other customers. But she kept bothering them to turn it on and finally they did. And then, the neighbors returned. This man pointed out to us each of the houses and the status of the residents. This was a real true community before the storm, and it is making steps towards regaining that form. He invited us into their home and showed off the handiwork of a house completely remodeled. It was remodeled by necessity and he had done such a nice job with it. The visit with this man was a taste of that light and hope amidst so much frustration and despair.

There is so much yet to do and I am excited to see how the upcoming weeks and months pan out. Desire Street and CURE are taking on some big projects to fulfill a vision for the neighborhood that had been home to so many. I am reminded of a visit to San Francisco earlier this year, around the time of the 100 year anniversary of the great San Francisco earthquake. The image that came to mind was a phoenix, rising from the ash. And I hope and I pray that that will be said of New Orleans in the months and years to come.

On to New Orleans!

A New Adventure Begins…

It has been exactly three weeks since my Mission Year teammates and I parted ways in Oakland. I have been back in Chicagoland with my parents since then and in a matter of days, we’ll be on the road headed towards New Orleans. New Orleans!?!? Honestly, the shocked remarks have come most from people in the Gulf Coast who I have contacted prior to my arrival. The fact is, over a year after Hurricanes Katrina and Rita, there is still much to be done. When I visited Mississippi in early June, I realized just how much I didn’t know. We were told that it would take at least 10 years for a full recovery, if not more. The Gulf Coast still needs a lot of help and so I am going!
As we drove along the Gulf Coast highway, through towns like Long Beach, Ocean Springs, and Pass Christian on our way to Gulfport, Mississippi, I could not believe my eyes. Such total destruction, buildings left in rubble, mansions completely flattened. At first I was overwhelmed with thoughts of God’s power, a strong hand that could command the winds and waters to bring such devastation. I questioned my role in responding. I wondered what His reasons were for bringing on this storm. I honestly questioned Him: God, since You brought this on, do You just want it to stay this way?? God met me in these thoughts of sadness and confusion and reminded me that His is a story of continuous hope and redemption. Every instance of destruction comes with an opportunity for rebuilding. From Adam to Noah to Nehemiah to Lazarus to Jesus—God has been bringing life and hope out of desperate situations. Throughout history God’s story has been one of bringing His people back to Him and back to His promise. God is providing us, His people, an opportunity to respond to this disaster in love. We are called to be His hands and feet, and that is the work that I am excited to join in rebuilding the Gulf Coast.
The other important reason why I pursued this opportunity was the chance to live again in community. Now when I explained that to my Oakland teammates, they sort of looked at me like I was crazy. Because I must be! Living in community during Mission Year was difficult and frustrating, yet at the same time the best thing for me. It wasn’t the best in an always-the-most-fun sort of way, but best in a hardest-thing-ever-but-most-growth-producing way. I was brought to a place where I could learn things about myself and my understanding of other people that I never would have seen had I lived again by myself or had I chosen to surround myself with only those people who thought and acted just like me. Throughout this past year, I have grown in understanding and appreciation for God’s vision and heart for unity among His people. I have gained a new perspective on what it means for the Body to really work like a body! I want to be a part of this community because I have seen the beauty of God’s vision and long to continue pursuing it. It won’t be easy and it won’t always be pleasant…but worth it? Definitely.
So the next big question after why is what! What will I be doing in New Orleans? Good question. This opportunity has been arranged through a partnership between the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) and Mission Year. Instead of trying to go down and re-create the wheel in disaster recovery, these two organizations have wisely pursued collaborating with existing groups that already have experience working in the Gulf Coast. My official position is Volunteer Coordinator at Desire Street Ministries/CURE. Since 1990, Desire Street Ministries (DSM) has served the impoverished neighborhood around the Desire Housing Project within New Orleans’ 9th ward with programs that meet the residents’ specific needs. Desire Street Ministries exists to revitalize the community through spiritual and community development. Desire Street Fellowship, part of DSM, is a founding member of a local church association called CURE (Churches United for Revitalization and Evangelism). CURE was formed by local pastors who share a common vision for the church’s responsibility in the community. CURE hopes to promote unity among the churches through corporate movements of prayer, fellowship, evangelism, and partnering for a better community.
The short answer for what I’ll be doing in the Volunteer Coordinator position was given to me by my supervisor, Ben: “The most consistent thing is that everyday is different!” Flexibility seems to be the key word in disaster recovery so I’m sure this will be a big lesson for me all year. Some days I will be contacting churches and other groups to recruit volunteer teams, figuring out the needs in the Upper Ninth Ward community where we’ll be working, and trying to match volunteer skills to resident needs. Some days I will be helping those volunteer teams with the logistics of their visit to New Orleans and taking care of various details that come up. Other days I may be doing more administrative duties in the Desire Street/CURE offices. I will be answering phone calls and helping residents try to locate resources and navigate the confusing bureaucratic systems of public assistance. As Ben put it, there are a lot more questions than answers at this point. To learn more, you can check out the websites for Desire Street Ministries and CURE at www.desirestreet.org and www.desirestreet.org/fellowship/cure.html.
As I mentioned above, doing Mission Year gave me such a wonderful opportunity to see how people can partner together to advance God’s Kingdom of love and hope. Without a doubt, I could not have made it through the year in Oakland without my support team sending their love, prayers, gifts, donations, and encouragement from all over the world. My goal is to raise $3,000 to offset the costs of doing this work and living in New Orleans and it is a privilege to offer you the chance to partner with me in this adventure. The residents of the Gulf Coast still need your prayers, as do my teammates and I as we settle in New Orleans. I am completely aware that not everyone can or wants to spend a year living in the Gulf Coast disaster zone, which is why I invite you to join me in this journey through your prayer and financial support. It is in this way that God calls us each individually to unite to bring the good news of life and grace.

with Love,
Emily


If you are interested in coming down to the Gulf Coast at any point to volunteer, please do not hesitate to let me know!

July 2006--Final Mission Year Newsletter

We have been lauded for choosing to give up and sacrifice this year of our lives to spend in the inner-city. Well truly, I’m not sure that’s entirely accurate. At a time in our lives when family wants to know our long-term plans and society wants us to pick a path and stick with it forever, I have been privileged to be given a year not to do something concrete or advance my career path or make any definite plans. Because of gracious and generous support, we were able to spend this time as students of life and love and the kingdom of God. We were challenged to see how the kingdom of God is here and now and advancing in the children playing in the street, the adults dancing on the corner, the bbq’s and loud music and extended family networks.

I’ve been the lucky one…
People thought we were coming here to bless, but we’ve been the ones to receive the blessings. Jesus called us to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, take in the lonely. We’ve done our share of serving here, but truly we’ve been fed, clothed, and welcomed more than I’ve ever experienced.

I’ve been the lucky one…
To be the recipient of such gracious hospitality
To be allowed to spend a year hanging out with some of the most amazing people in the world
To have so many of my stereotypes and assumptions corrected
To be welcomed as family into homes that are so different from my own

People might look at our neighbors or service sites and say that they are lucky since they were able to benefit from the free assistance we provided.
But truly, I’ve been the lucky one…
To realize how much I’ve been given just by chance of where I was born and the people who raised me
To learn grace and freedom and love in a merciful place where there was never more expected of me than I could give. My ability to love has been exponentially expanded by venturing to love people in ways that most touch them, instead of just ways that are easiest for me.

Truly I’ve been the lucky one…
To serve a God who trusts me with His plans, who longs to lay a path before me and watch me choose obedience and faith, in the face of doubt and tempting alternatives
To be a product of grace and forgiveness, and to have been graciously shown that I needed those just as much as I thought I didn’t when I first arrived
To see God’s face in the drug dealer on the corner and the kindergartner who can’t read


It’s kind of strange for me to think now about how I can best pray for and love my Oakland friends now that I’m leaving. We’ve spent this intense year together…or rather, I’ve spent a year sort of invading their lives. And now we’re moving on, each to the next adventure. We’ll always have this year that we shared in our memories, but now life goes on. For some of my friends here, the adventure may not actually seem like one since it’s really just their normal lives, with them continuing to survive each day with remnants of hope and trust and a vision of God’s love. For my teammates, God has different adventures down the road for each of us. Whether we’re going on to college or jobs, this year has changed and grown us in ways we have yet to see fully manifested. In this isolated moment, this year seems like a big deal. But when I look ahead to the rest of our lives, I’m reminded again just how small I am in the hands of such a HUGE God.

Reflecting on all my prayers throughout this year, God has been entirely faithful. He has brought about tremendous changes in my heart and has brought along people that have touched my life. Praise God for: Keekee, Taranicha, Blossie, Je’da, Khalei, Tracy, Traion, Maliek, Lil Will, Cliff, Mason, Darius, Keisha, Knight, Ametria, Jalen, Dreena, Jen, Jahon, Tina, Pastor Hunter, the Lyons family, Hendrik, Luke, Alice, Dejeanne, Diamond, Ann, Jason Pokorny, Barbara, Cathy & Terry, Marilyn, Cheryl, Gabrielle, Ella, Marcel & Markel, Johnny, Freddy, Mo, Jackie, Levina, Joeybeth, Charlene, Anita, the Mojica family, Stephen, Aixa, Kilomoki, Davion, Tumariay, Melvin, Malik, Desiray, Anta’nae, Barbara, Dulce, Abigail, Merari, Efraim, Daisy, Clara, Ella, Kim, Chelsea, Jessica, Karrie, Heather. The only reason why I was able to be here this year and spend time with such amazing people was because of the support I got from all of you! Praise God for all of your prayers, financial gifts, emails, letters, cards, phone calls, and loving thoughts from afar.

If you are the praying type, please keep these friends and neighbors in your prayers. Please pray that our lives here have pointed our friends to some vision of light, love, and hope—not because we’re from the suburbs but because we’re following Jesus. Please pray that God will continue to grow and cultivate the seeds that have been planted during our time in West Oakland. Please pray for God’s love, protection, mercy, and compassion to cover them and for them to make healthy decisions in the future. I hope that I have succeeded in finding a place in your heart for the people I’ve grown to love and for my neighborhood in West Oakland, California. It is my prayer that God draws me back to this place, if not physically then at least in my mind and heart, in thankfulness and praise of all He’s done and is still doing here. I am so thankful that His work does not rest solely on our shoulders. He was here before we came, has been faithful and diligent even when we were discouraged, and will remain steadfast until the end.