July 2006--Final Mission Year Newsletter

We have been lauded for choosing to give up and sacrifice this year of our lives to spend in the inner-city. Well truly, I’m not sure that’s entirely accurate. At a time in our lives when family wants to know our long-term plans and society wants us to pick a path and stick with it forever, I have been privileged to be given a year not to do something concrete or advance my career path or make any definite plans. Because of gracious and generous support, we were able to spend this time as students of life and love and the kingdom of God. We were challenged to see how the kingdom of God is here and now and advancing in the children playing in the street, the adults dancing on the corner, the bbq’s and loud music and extended family networks.

I’ve been the lucky one…
People thought we were coming here to bless, but we’ve been the ones to receive the blessings. Jesus called us to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, take in the lonely. We’ve done our share of serving here, but truly we’ve been fed, clothed, and welcomed more than I’ve ever experienced.

I’ve been the lucky one…
To be the recipient of such gracious hospitality
To be allowed to spend a year hanging out with some of the most amazing people in the world
To have so many of my stereotypes and assumptions corrected
To be welcomed as family into homes that are so different from my own

People might look at our neighbors or service sites and say that they are lucky since they were able to benefit from the free assistance we provided.
But truly, I’ve been the lucky one…
To realize how much I’ve been given just by chance of where I was born and the people who raised me
To learn grace and freedom and love in a merciful place where there was never more expected of me than I could give. My ability to love has been exponentially expanded by venturing to love people in ways that most touch them, instead of just ways that are easiest for me.

Truly I’ve been the lucky one…
To serve a God who trusts me with His plans, who longs to lay a path before me and watch me choose obedience and faith, in the face of doubt and tempting alternatives
To be a product of grace and forgiveness, and to have been graciously shown that I needed those just as much as I thought I didn’t when I first arrived
To see God’s face in the drug dealer on the corner and the kindergartner who can’t read


It’s kind of strange for me to think now about how I can best pray for and love my Oakland friends now that I’m leaving. We’ve spent this intense year together…or rather, I’ve spent a year sort of invading their lives. And now we’re moving on, each to the next adventure. We’ll always have this year that we shared in our memories, but now life goes on. For some of my friends here, the adventure may not actually seem like one since it’s really just their normal lives, with them continuing to survive each day with remnants of hope and trust and a vision of God’s love. For my teammates, God has different adventures down the road for each of us. Whether we’re going on to college or jobs, this year has changed and grown us in ways we have yet to see fully manifested. In this isolated moment, this year seems like a big deal. But when I look ahead to the rest of our lives, I’m reminded again just how small I am in the hands of such a HUGE God.

Reflecting on all my prayers throughout this year, God has been entirely faithful. He has brought about tremendous changes in my heart and has brought along people that have touched my life. Praise God for: Keekee, Taranicha, Blossie, Je’da, Khalei, Tracy, Traion, Maliek, Lil Will, Cliff, Mason, Darius, Keisha, Knight, Ametria, Jalen, Dreena, Jen, Jahon, Tina, Pastor Hunter, the Lyons family, Hendrik, Luke, Alice, Dejeanne, Diamond, Ann, Jason Pokorny, Barbara, Cathy & Terry, Marilyn, Cheryl, Gabrielle, Ella, Marcel & Markel, Johnny, Freddy, Mo, Jackie, Levina, Joeybeth, Charlene, Anita, the Mojica family, Stephen, Aixa, Kilomoki, Davion, Tumariay, Melvin, Malik, Desiray, Anta’nae, Barbara, Dulce, Abigail, Merari, Efraim, Daisy, Clara, Ella, Kim, Chelsea, Jessica, Karrie, Heather. The only reason why I was able to be here this year and spend time with such amazing people was because of the support I got from all of you! Praise God for all of your prayers, financial gifts, emails, letters, cards, phone calls, and loving thoughts from afar.

If you are the praying type, please keep these friends and neighbors in your prayers. Please pray that our lives here have pointed our friends to some vision of light, love, and hope—not because we’re from the suburbs but because we’re following Jesus. Please pray that God will continue to grow and cultivate the seeds that have been planted during our time in West Oakland. Please pray for God’s love, protection, mercy, and compassion to cover them and for them to make healthy decisions in the future. I hope that I have succeeded in finding a place in your heart for the people I’ve grown to love and for my neighborhood in West Oakland, California. It is my prayer that God draws me back to this place, if not physically then at least in my mind and heart, in thankfulness and praise of all He’s done and is still doing here. I am so thankful that His work does not rest solely on our shoulders. He was here before we came, has been faithful and diligent even when we were discouraged, and will remain steadfast until the end.

what's next...

for those of you who may be stalking me without my knowledge...the plans for now are that i'm heading to new orleans in early september to spend about a year serving as a volunteer coordinator with the recovery efforts from hurricanes katrina/rita. pretty ironic given my first blog entry nearly a year ago..... hhmmmmm... anyway, that's the plan as it stands now. but really who knows, this plan could change any minute. that's the way God likes to roll...

June 2006

June has been a busy month, with school ending, graduations, and the beginning of summer. KeeKee has been telling us about her 8^th grade graduation since we met her in November. I knew I would never hear the end of it if I, for any reason, missed this special occasion. When her family moved to Richmond in February, and she subsequently missed a month of school, I was concerned that this would jeopardize her chances of graduating. Later, I learned that she and her cousins and brother

who were attending the same middle school were having a hard time with the teachers, and they felt they were being unfairly punished for the misbehavior of a few. Again, I worried that she might not be able to graduate. After working for 8 months in Oakland public schools, I can say that passing any grade is significant, especially as a student gets closer to high school. There are boys in our neighborhood that can’t be older than 13 years old who we see out on the corner most days, during normal school hours. Why aren’t they in school, we wonder. How long has it been since they sat in a classroom? I’ve learned not to take for granted my upbringing and everything around me that fed the notion that education was important and not in the realm of a child’s choice. I’ve learned that my values have actually been a product of an upper middle-class environment and that my assumptions cannot be applied generally to every situation. Life presents many choices and for every person we know, there are so many stories behind that person’s response to their circumstances. With all that said, it was with much joy and pride that I received the news that KeeKee would indeed be graduating on June 7^th. Unfortunately, it turned out that KeeKee’s family only received two tickets to attend the graduation ceremony and in a family with ten kids, I was far down the list. Fortunately, I did get to see KeeKee in the morning of her graduation day so even though I couldn’t see her walk across the stage, I was able to give her a big hug and tell her how proud I was of her. She made quite the beautiful eighth-grade graduate!

KeeKee wasn’t the only graduate this month. I also got to see my kindergartners walk across the stage and accept their “promotion” certificates. It’s difficult to admit, but I’m actually sad to see this school year end. For all the stress and headaches and hair-pulling- frustration of working with these little kids, I will miss seeing them grow and learn (and run around and cause havoc) in the classroom. To be there, next to that little person, and watch that

moment in their eyes when suddenly they could write their name or finally

figured out where to place “G” on the alphabet rug, actually made it all worth the struggles. “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.” (Matthew 18. 3-5) When I spend time with the kids in my neighborhood, despite all the adverse circumstances around them, I can see the humility, sheer joy and abandon that characterizes the childlike faith about which Jesus spoke. I have learned a new way to trust by watching these children discover the world around them.

I also celebrated the end of school with the 2^nd/3^rd grade bilingual class that I have been helping since January. I worked with these students on their English reading and comprehension. It was amazing to work with these children and to see their persistence and encouragement of one another. And then, to stand there during the end-of-school festivities and listen to the teacher beam with pride at her pupils who could read, write, and speak in two languages and also perform above proficiency levels in math! Recently I participated in a training on multiculturalism with another one of my service sites. The group was comprised of community leaders representing various congregations and schools from all over Oakland. The spirit in the training was one of unity, while at the same time a willingness to explore and understand the strength and significance of our differences. On the morning of the second day of the training I read this verse: His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, according to his eternal purpose which he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Ephesians 3.10-11) Now, it’s not saying that, in our stunning intelligence, we make God look good by going to church. Actually, our unity reveals God’s great wisdom in that He broke down any barriers that may divide us through the complete and sufficient work of Jesus. At first, I began thinking of this in light of denominational differences and how divided the Church is today. But then God began opening my eyes to the relevance and applicability of this verse to the very things I was learning during the training. He longs to see all people, regardless of race, culture, or ethnicity, drawn together in love and unity. He longs to see peace among the people He has created. It reassured my spirit to know that although we may put new labels or terms to the practice of defining our differences, the idea of unifying and growing stronger through our unique talents and backgrounds was originated, and will be completed, with God.

During my time in Oakland, I have been the one blessed with seeing God do this work in my little corner of the world. I have seen His children of different color, cultural background, and beliefs grow in knowledge and come together in one heart and spirit to pursue truth and love.

April 2006

I find myself edging towards the end of April and facing another newsletter deadline. The irony is that as I read through my previous newsletters to remind myself how far I’ve come and perhaps gain some inspiration for this month’s installment, I was struck by the fact that almost all of my newsletters reflected thoughts and observations that I’m still having even now. Funny how I wrote that I couldn’t believe we had already been here three weeks for that first newsletter and now I’m looking at only about 3 more months until Mission Year ends. I haven’t come up with anything clever or witty for this month, especially since I’m filled with so much uncertainty right now. So again I write to you seeking your prayers and support, offering you the opportunity to partner with what God is doing here.

Pray for me and my team. As third trimester begins, our relationships are strengthening, yet still changing. I do not want to take these girls for granted, or think that I have any of them fully figured out. Please pray that we will remain open and eager to walk with each other through the struggles and triumphs that are yet to come. I am so grateful that God has placed these girls in my life and I pray that we will continue to grow in love for and unity with each other. A new command I give you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.(John 13.34-35)

Pray for our last few months as it would be easier for us to throw in the towel since the end is in sight. Mission Year founder Bart Campolo spoke to us a few weeks before we left for spring break and he exhorted us to “kick it in,” as his cross-country running friends would say. He reminded us that most of the people we encounter will remember our time here solely based on how we finished it. If we give up on people too soon we may be missing one of God’s greatest blessings. Especially after trying for seven months to develop relationships with people, it can be discouraging if it seems to be making no progress. Please pray for a spirit of perseverance in the things God is still trying to teach me about grace, freedom, and True love. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.(Galatians 6.9)

Pray for discernment as all of my teammates and I consider what our post-mission year plans will be. I am praying to be free of distractions as I try to balance thoughts about the future with what we are doing currently. I’m experiencing a definite paradox of choice since I could really do anything and am not sure which direction God is calling me towards. Please pray for clarity but also for a heart clearly seeking God and not just an arrow pointing in a direction.

Pray for my neighbors & friends. Keshia, Knight, new baby Jalen, Ametria, Darius, and Mason are considering moving back to Louisiana to be closer to Keshia’s family. Our team has really grown close with this family and we really want to spend more time with them. Levina is another one of our favorite neighbors—we went over to her house about a month ago to have a Saturday night movie party. She has lived in this neighborhood her entire life and she definitely longs to see these streets free of violence and fear. Keekee and Taranicha are of course also at the top of my prayer list. Please keep their whole family in prayer and pray that God would somehow protect and cover them even in the dangerous situations they might find themselves in. Pray that these girls would grow to see how beautiful and unconditionally loved they are in God’s eyes in such a way that would strengthen them as they prepare to face their teenage years. Please also keep Cathy and Gabrielle in your prayers. I see so much passion in Cathy and I pray that God keeps her on track with Him in spite of many temptations. Gabrielle is another friend from church who we love. Please pray for her as she is a single parent raising her 9 year old son, Gabe. Please also keep my friend Jen in your prayers as she undergoes cancer treatments and seeks to regain custody of her two children. Please also pray for a creative way to show our neighbors how much we appreciate and care about them.

Pray for the city of Oakland. There have been approximately 45 murders so far this year, more than double this time last year and almost half as many as all of 2005. The average age of murder victims last year was 31 years old. Since we’ve been here in September, there have been 85 murders. The mayor and city council of Oakland nearly called a state of emergency last month in order to get enough law enforcement agents on the street to keep the crime wave under control. Please pray that the Church would seize this opportunity to truly be the hands and feet of Jesus in the world.

Praise God for His wisdom and faithfulness. I have been so encouraged by the prayers that I have seen God answer here, right before my eyes. It is evident to me how He prepared a place for us at our church, our service sites, and within the neighborhood. I am so thankful for Pastor Hunter, the Lyons family (our Church liaisons—and so much more), Jahon Pride (music minister at Mt. Zion), Anita Taylor, Jason Pokorny (Volunteer Coordinator at Highland Hospital), Ms. Haynes (assistant principal at Prescott Elementary School), and all the others who have granted me the opportunity to serve and learn alongside them.

Praise God for the neighbors who have opened their hearts and homes to us. We have been so privileged to get to know the people who have welcomed us into their lives. We are very grateful for them and the ways we have been adopted into this neighborhood.

Praise God for World Impact and others in Oakland trying to make an impact for good. God’s spirit is advancing and moving in our neighborhood, and throughout the city, and lives are being changed. Thank God for Hendrik de Boer, Joeybeth Murphy, and Luke Prince, Josh Harper, Kim Williams, the other Oakland Mission Year teams, and all the others who have a passion to see shalom in Oakland.

Praise God for His provision. Our team has raised about 48% of our support goal, and I am at about 40% (approximately $5,000). I am so grateful to those who have contributed to my ministry already. There are serious financial needs for the work that we are doing and I would ask you to prayerfully consider how you may be able to partner with us in this way.

Praise God for His grace, mercy, love, compassion…and sense of humor. It is such an amazing opportunity to be involved in God’s work. Even when we feel discouraged, I am grateful that God opens my eyes to the little things He has done to bless me each day. I am so thankful for His grace, which allows me the freedom to fail and continue to get up again. I am so thankful for His compassion and tenderness in growing my spirit and teaching me self-forgiveness. I also am really glad God has such a great sense of humor—and that He lets us in on some of what makes Him laugh.

I also thank God for each one of you. Your thoughts, prayers,

and long-distance hugs have truly been felt and appreciated!

March 2006

My mom’s reflections on her visit to my neighborhood a few weeks ago…

Faith. Courage. Dedication. Tenacity. Patience. Curiosity. Playfulness. Hospitality. This is what I experienced when I visited the Campbell Street girls the weekend of February 24^th. It comes through in the monthly letters you receive—but it truly materialized for me through my visit.

The neighborhood is desolate and scary. But the neighbors are warm and wonderful. We met Mason and Jazmin (and their siblings). We met Hendrik and the Saturday morning breakfast crew. We met the Mt. Zion church choir members (including Jahon, who invited us to sing with the choir and Gabrielle, who has befriended the girls and made them part of her extended family). We met Stacy, Robert, and Hannah. We met Keekee and Taranicha. Our girls are street smart and showed us the ropes of how to navigate the neighborhood—including what to say (and what not to say). Though they come from very different backgrounds, they are a team and have figured out a way to cooperate and live together (in very close quarters indeed!).

Though there are many many memories from the weekend, the highlight (aside from visiting my angel) was singing in the Mt. Zion church choir on Sunday morning. We were told we enriched the alto section. It was moving to hear the marvelous sounds coming from our intimately-sized choir—an experience I will never forget! Of course, meeting everyone (roommates, families, other team members, and neighbors) was another highlight. I can’t wait to go back.

Keep these girls in your hearts. As frightening as their mission is, they are doing good things and making an impact—one person at a time.

As we were driving towards the hotel on the last day of her visit, my mom asked me how a Mission Year team is measured in its success. How does the city director know, she asked, if the team should come back to the neighborhood the next year? I realize this is a question that a lot of sensible people might ask and coming from the social service world where systems are sought to measure success and impact, it was not an arbitrary question. However, I also realize that measuring results in the kingdom of God is like trying to differentiate between variants of sunlight from day to day. Sure if one day is cloudless and the next grayed with thunderstorms the difference is clear and, with some sort of meteorological tool, measurable. But from one day to the next, especially in Oakland, the variance is slight. Some days you may notice the sun reflecting in certain ways that you didn’t see before or you may notice the clouds are a little fluffier than usual, but for the most part it’s hard to quantify these types of observations. All this is applicable to the general public excluding the portion of which are meteorologists, and those specific people have been trained to see these types of changes with a keener eye than the rest of us.

What are the measures of success for a team in Mission Year? What are the results that we’re looking for? I think part of the answer is just like noticing those sunlight differences from day to day. Some days it seems like nothing is going right—the first graders aren’t listening, the junior high girls at the after school club act like first graders, and I’m really not in the mood to go to Bible study. Other days I feel like I’m the local expert on everything I seem to encounter—my kindergarten class acts calmly and politely, I help someone add finesse to a resume that lands them the perfect job, and my teammates and I share joy at home playing cards or making milkshakes. However, truth be told, most days it’s somewhere in between. The great thing is that no matter what I notice (or don’t notice) the kingdom of God is advancing. This means hope, love, gentleness, trust, grace are being shared. And, each day I’m praying that God gives me, like the meteorologist, a keener eye and more receptive heart to see how these slight movements are happening.

The other part of the answer is what I told my mom that day. I want to be here, loving the people around me as best as I can. In fact, the best that I can offer is pretty weak. So really, I want to be here, making myself available to be used as a vessel in distributing God’s love as best as I can discern how. My hope is that in loving even one person in the form of God’s unconditional, unchanging, gracious nature, his or her life will be changed in some small way that will then affect the surrounding people. A ripple effect of sorts—in a culture where everyone is feeling pressured by someone to do something or prove this or that, why not apply pressure to love more freely or give more generously or spend time more patiently? Success comes in loving well, in fully living out the hope of the gospel, as opposed to trying to come up with the perfect words or slogans. I gave the example to my mom that it may look like us somehow being able to communicate to any one of our teenage friends that they do not need to have a baby to feel unconditionally loved. In turn, they’ll take this radical knowledge and its truth will permeate their life and the lives they touch. In this ripple system, we are playing one role among many in the process of seed planting, cultivating, tilling, etc. We may not see the harvest of the fruits from seeds which we sow, but spending the time to invest in love is worth every second.

The ironic thing is that God would choose someone like me to transport His message. An Emily who just this year began to understand what grace really means. An Emily who can barely go a week without getting annoyed at her teammates about something stupid. Recently we read an article where the author talked about how he realized that his bad days weren’t caused so much by external forces but more by his reaction to not getting his way. These remarks have stuck with me. I needed someone else to say it about himself for me to realize its truth for my life. So this broken Emily, whose “bad days” come from not getting her way in some way or another, is being used by the God of the universe to share His amazing love with some amazing people everyday. Crazy…

A quote I came across the other day seems to wrap up these ideas much more fully and eloquently than I could. Author Brian McLaren extrapolates on Thomas Merton’s words in saying, “‘Do not depend on the hope of results,’ Merton said. Being involved in God’s work requires us to face the fact that our work will at times appear to achieve… ‘no result at all, if not perhaps results opposite to what you expect.’ Far better than being obsessed with results, whether in social work or evangelism, is to focus on the value of the work itself, and on the value of being genuine friends with those we serve…Merton also warned his friend from using social work to make an identity for himself… ‘All the good that you will do will come not from you but from the fact that you have allowed yourself, in the obedience of faith, to be used by God’s love.’”