here he comes!

last night i was watching the weather channel before bed. the anchor in the studio was talking with a reporter standing in front of a house boat in houma, la. there was a family still in that houseboat--the anchor asked the reporter what he could say to that family to convince them to leave. the reporter says he tried to tell them, there'd be the surge of the waves, the wind, the rain, but they refused to leave. "i asked them why they were staying and, blieve it or not, they said because the kids wanted to....." he reports "...I mean who's in charge here?" he asks, stating the question that would be on any sane person's mind. After a few stumbling seconds of just trying to come to terms with the situation, he frankly looks into the camera and says, "You know folks, we can't save everyone..." and moves on to tell of gustav's current movement. i couldnt believe it.

last night i was really feeling nervous--what would i wake up to? what would be left of new orleans? and even in jackson, there's forecasts of flash flooding, thunderstorms, wind gusts. during katrina, i have learned, power was out here for a week! we have contingency plans galore, so we wont be stuck. it's just the nervous anticipation. and not something that we fear might happen...now just a matter of watching it happen before our eyes and just wondering how bad its really going to be.

with katrina, maybe i heard about it ahead of time while flipping through the channels but i didnt know anyone who was in the expected path of the storm. there wasn't all this anxiety of the build up, watching the system spin around, "barrelling" closer to the shore. with katrina, it was just the aftermath that i watched. this is a whole added component, seeing it from before, anticipating it.

as of this morning, it appears that the eye (and eye-wall) of the storm will be hitting southwest of new orleans, though still making direct hit on the louisiana coast. it's coming on shore as a category 2, though they're saying there's a lot of rain that will last for days with it. the most recent shots of new orleans that i saw didnt show any street flooding, so that's good. but, as we know, it doesnt take too much to flood the streets so we'll see how long that lasts.

here's hoping!
emily

gustav, a day away

it is expected that gustav will make landfall sometime tomorrow (monday, sept 1) happy labor day! the news is saying that he could hit anywhere from east texas to the alabama/florida border. that is a WIDE swath. apparently ray nagin has called gustav "the mother of all storms" and technically i think he would be the "father of all storms," but who's counting. why is it that in times like this, the masters of hyperbole are those with the most power? do you think there is a direct correlation there? perhaps it really will be the storm to end all storms, but who knows? perhaps he just needed to put that extra oomph to drive home the point that you MUST leave new orleans. there are no shelters in new orleans. if you stay, you are on your own. there will be a curfew and anyone not on their own property will be subject to arrest.

the friends who were going to ride with me ended up on a city-evacuation bus headed to arkansas. "how far away is arkansas?" my friend asked me when she called from the bus. that was yesterday evening--hopefully she's there by now.

we met a woman last night at a restaurant in downtown jackson who had evacuated here from grand isle, louisiana. that's one of those towns on the tippy tip of the boot-toe of the state. she was really proud to tell us that we could find pictures of her wedding online. you wont believe your eyes!

this is a strange thing for me. it kind of feels like a long holiday weekend, but gustav has never been off my mind. there's no sense in worrying because that wont change the course of the storm. i'm learning that even jackson will feel some effects--high winds, thunderstorms, potential power outtages--but not enough to evacuate from here. i've never done this before and its a weird state to know that in a matter of hours your whole life could take a drastic turn. i'm with friends here and i am being well taken care of! i'll try to keep the updates coming as i can.

love, emily

gustav update

greetings from sunny jackson, mississippi!
yes you read that right, i'm in jackson, not baton rouge as originally planned. i'm doing fine and now just waiting, like the rest of the country, to see what gustav will do when he makes landfall (expected early tuesday, sept 2). (thats the abbreviated version. see below for more details)

all this gustav-talk started early this past week in new orleans. i am usually one to react to such news with hyper anxiety but i took bob breck's advice (bobbreck.blogspot.com) and didnt freak out. although it seemed like the rest of the city was already in freak-out mode, which is understandable since three years ago to the week most people lost everything they owned. EVERYTHING. so better to freak out than be sorry, right? i figured i'd wait and see what the forecasters said, if/when evacuation would be necessary.
early in the week i was still hoping my weekend plans would involve moving (to a new apartment a few blocks away, plans that were made the week before gustav) rather than evacuating. as it got to the middle of the week, the people closest to me were talking about evacuating and thats what made me realize, hm, i dont want to be left behind. originally i was going to go with some friends to north carolina, then to atlanta. then to baton rouge since that would be closer (no need to go all the way to the atlantic coast to avoid the storm) and easier/quicker to return to new orleans if gustav should change his path. i was really not interested in a prolonged adventure. another friend offered for me to join her in jackson, mississippi but for the time being i was set on going to baton rouge. my preference was to not leave new orleans with four empty seats in my car--given the high number of people i know who dont have personal transportation, i figured SOMEONE would need a ride somewhere. my second prefernce was to stay with people i knew.
at the same time that i was trying to maintain calm and listen to bob breck, the city already seemed to be doing a better job of preparing for this storm, than it had with katrina. the governor was being very very pro-active, the mayor was talking about the plan (wow, an actual plan!) to get everyone out of the city with enough buses, etc. that was re-assuring, minus the fact that it would mean i'd have to go. up until thursday evening i really was feeling calm and cool about the whole thing and still hoping i wouldnt have to leave until sunday, saturday evening at the earliest. then i heard the mayor say on the news that he'd probably call a mandatory evacuation on saturday afternoon. from all i had heard my friends talking about their previous evacuation experiences, its best to leave before the mandatory evacuation call. a few years ago, some friends evacuated and it took them 8 hours to get to slidell, which is probably about 50 miles from new orleans. sheesh! i didnt want that to happen.
so then my mind was set on evacuate-friday-mode. and thats when the nerves started. i had to remind myself that it wasnt so much that i would need to evacuate with the storm on my heels (think indiana jones and the ginormous boulder rolling behind him) but more so evacuating before the hordes to avoid the news-making traffic jams. at this point, i was going to go with some people from st roch community church, including the pastor and his wife and some other friends. my empty passenger seats would be filled and we'd head to baton rouge. as the day progressed, i waited on word that it was time to go. plans were falling into place but then we realized that heading to baton rouge wasnt going to be the best decision. and the family i was supposed to take with me decided they'd rather wait for the mandatory call and take the city-sponsored buses. so. i had to decide what now to do. i called up my friend who had offered me a place in jackson and asked if it was too late (this was friday afternoon). she generously said no, the offer was still good! so i went home, got my bags, and made my way up to mississippi. some other friends of mine are staying in jackson too and we met up for dinner along the way last night.
and that brings me to now. i'm hoping to be here until next wednesday or thursday at the latest. this is looking like it will be an extended labor day vacation in mississippi. yahoo!!!! i'm glad to be out of new orleans and now i just play the wait-and-see game like everyone else.

packing my bags was interesting....how do you decide what to take when you realize that whatever you leave might be lost for good? and i think of my neighbors, many of whom will be part of the new city-wide plan to evacuate everyone with buses to various locations outside of the city. they are making very clear now that if you stay and resist the mandatory evacuation, you are on your own. there are no city shelters. what about those people who are barely scraping by? now they will be dropped off in a new city to wait-and-see. evacuation is expensive, not to mention the lost time of missing work. so many factors, so many things to consider, on top of the fact that you might be watching your city get destroyed for the second time in three years. yes, hurricanes are a fact of life living in coastal louisiana. but that doesnt make it any easier to deal with. i'm just hoping and praying that God will spare not only new orleans but all the cities and people along the gulf coast. may He turn gustav back to the sea, away from civilization. i'm also praying for those people in jamaica, haiti & the d.r., cuba, and the cayman islands who have already felt the brunt of gustav.

i will keep you posted if there is anything to report. the websites i'm watching are: bobbreck.blogspot.com and nhc.noaa.gov

with love, emily

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ashes, ashes, we all fall down

coming into ash wednesday, i went back in forth in my mind about the idea of getting the symbolic ash mark on my forehead. this is never something i had needed to consider before and i was intrigued. in ash wednesdays past, i have been one of those people strangely drawn to stare at anyone with the forehead marking. i understand what it represents but i was torn. torn because on the one hand, the bible tells us not to make a big scene of our fasting or praying or other acts--for the sake of being seen--but that our Father in heaven sees and rewards and that if we are doing it to be seen we need to check our hearts. on the other hand, baptism, a very significant gesture and sign in the life of a christ-follower is all about being an outward declaration to the world of the direction and posture of your life in Christ. really, honestly, despite all this holy talk, my vanity was really about to get the best of me. did i really want that ashy stuff on my foreheard all day? did i want the strange looks and the questions from the kids in the neighborhood? did i want to have to explain it over and over, perhaps even to people to whom explanations really didn't matter?
but as i sat there in the beginning of the ash wednesday service, a stronger thought came to me-- I NEED THIS. i not only need everything that is represented by this ash, this sign, this season, but i NEED this shot to my vanity. if lent is everything it's cracked up to be, then it's a set aside time to focus on our repentance...and our ability to rest in the finished work of Christ on the cross. it is a time for me to choose, to attempt, to admit i fail at putting aside my vanity YET all the while rejoice in Christ's unconditional forgiveness. i needed this reminder, this sign that stared back at me every time i looked in the mirror today. i need to be reminded that i AM set apart. and frankly, if explaining an ashy smudge on my forehead was the strongest sign of Christ to those around me today, then taking up my cross daily compelled me to do it. was i really about to choose my own vanity over an outward sign of my faith? isn't that what this is all about?

people of God, come now in the spirit of penitence, and receive on your head in ashes the sign of the cross, the symbol of our mortality, a symbol of the cost of sin, and yet the sign of our salvation and promise of eternal life.

ain't that just the kicker??!?! that one smudge represents my mortality, the cost of my sin AND YET the sign of my salvation and promise of eternal life. as if my wearing of the ash had ANYthing at all to do with accomplishing anything. my world boils down to how the ash will match or clash with my current day's outfit when in TRUTH and reality, the ash actually represents all that has already and forever been done to absolve me of my own self-full-ness, the illusion of the earth's orbit around me. amazing. i could wear the ash or not, it truly changes naught. God's mercy has been activated once and for all....and all i am thinking about is the pore-clogging-factor.

remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.

May our fasting be hunger for justice; our alms, a making of peace; our prayer, the chant of humble and grateful hearts.

the pastor spoke of the lenten tradition of fasting and sacrifice. he reminded us that the emphasis is not on giving up bad things. those bad things, of course, are actually to be given up all year long. no, the point of this fast is not to give up those things that lead us into sin or temptation but to give up good things...for the sake of seeing what's better. i indulge in chocolate and my enjoyment often ends at the chocolate for chocolate's sake. however, this time of pensiveness and abstinence pushes me to think of where that chocolate's goodness comes from...it forces me to remember that for all the goodness of the gift, the Giver is inherently and infinitely better.

were the whole realm of nature mine, that were an offering far too small; love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul , my life, my all.

teach us Lord to count our days, that we may gain a wise heart. satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, so that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. through Christ, our Lord. amen.

Rend your heart
and not your garments.
Return to the LORD your God,
for he is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and abounding in love,
and he relents from sending calamity. (joel 2. 13)

Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,
O God of my salvation,
and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.
O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. (psalm 51.14-17)

bearing shame and scoffing rude, in my place condemned he stood, sealed my pardon with his blood, Hallelujah! What a Savior!
Guilty, vile, and helpless we; spotless Lamb of God was he; full atonement! Can it be?
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Go in peace, remembering that you are but dust and ashes and unworthy of being called the people of God. But also remember that, you who were no people, God by His love and grace has made a people, children of his own household. Let us go forth in humility to be Christ to the world.