more like falling in love...

this song has been in my head for the past month or so. and it has become a frequent prayer...God move my heart to fall in love with you more!!!


Give me rules
I will break them
Give me lines
I will cross them
I need more than a truth to believe
I need a truth that lives, moves, and breathes
To sweep me off my feet
It ought to be

More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, oh
It's like I'm falling in love

Give me words
I'll misuse them
Obligations
I'll misplace them
'Cause all religion ever made of me
Was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet
It never set me free
It's gotta be

More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, oh
It's like I'm falling in love

...It's like I'm falling in love, love, love
Deeper and deeper
It was love that made
Me a believer
In more than a name, a faith, a creed
Falling in love with Jesus brought the change in me


More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, oh
It's like I'm falling in love

since we last spoke...

as i mentioned in my last email update, i have made the decision to join the innerchange team in soshanguve for three years! the decision making process was not as quick and easy as i thought it would be, but i know this is where God is leading me.  i felt like this direction was so clear and obvious before i left for my visit to the team but then i got there and there were no sparks, no instant clarity or parting of the clouds.  after much prayer and thought, discussion and processing, i realized that it was indeed what God had been leading me to.  i wondered why, though i had felt such a strong sense of God's leading before i visited, that same sense of clear direction was missing when i returned to the states.  in a moment of worship, i got in my mind an image of a young child learning to ride a bike.  the child rides, knowing and feeling the hand of her parent on the back of that bike.  and, at some point, that parent lets go.  the child must trust the steadiness that she felt when that hand was present and continue on riding.  she cannot expect to only ever ride that bike with that hand always there.  but the symbol of its closeness is enough to allow her to keep on pedaling.

so, three years? yes!  basically, innerCHANGE realizes that the best thing for the apprentice, the team, and the community is people who are committed.  in an international context, especially with language barriers, experience has shown that 1 year is only really a start to scratching the surface of real life among a team and community.  some days when i think about 3 years, it feels like a long time (one/ninth of my life!)  and other days, when i realize i've already lived in new orleans longer than that, it doesn't seem so long.

when am i leaving? after i have raised support!
no, but really, when is that? well....the next step in the process is an assessment with some other CRM and innerCHANGE staff members.  that is scheduled for march 31.  after that i can kick start the support raising process first thing on april 1.  no april fool's joke there! i will need to have at least two months of full support coming in BEFORE i can depart for south africa. so my goal might be around august-ish, but it is hard to say at this point.

the rest of my time of travelling was good!  from south africa, i flew to san francisco for the innerCHANGE orientation.  there i made some new friends, learned more about innerchange, and got deeper into the values and culture of the innerCHANGE family.  i also got to hang out with my wonderful aunt and good friends and mission year teammates heather and jessica!

then, on the tail end of a bad weather week in southern california (some people just can't handle their rain!!) i arrived in san diego.  i got to see andrew and although we didnt make it to the black market bakery, we had a good time driving up through orange county and andrew dropped me off in anaheim for the CRM training. (not sure if i have mentioned this before, but CRM is the umbrella ministry organization which innerCHANGE is connected to) i enjoyed some lovey hospitality, and made some new friends there too. we enjoyed a lovely january day on the beach!  our first part of training was a spiritual retreat to focus on the first thing of importance, our relationship with God!  the  rest of the time was really focused on support-raising training. it's kind of daunting to think about raising money, but i'm excited to see how God moves!

then, on the last leg of my trip, i made it back to chicago to see the fam! and also to see jessica get married! i had such a wonderful time, but it sure does get cold up there in the winter : )

then.....the SUPERBOWL!!!!!! who woulda thunk, when i planned this trip in november, that the saints would be in the superbowl???? i mean, they were having an amazing season, but really. come on. the saints?  but oh yes, the saints!  so, since i wasn't back with my new orleans family, my parents and i had our own new orleans style celebration in deerfield, complete with gumbo, bread pudding, and beads.  and then, you know how it ends, THE SAINTS WON!!! WHOOOOO DDDAATTTTT!  
oh man, if you're not from or weren't in new orleans on this most-apocalyptic day, you just cant understand.  i mean, i wasn't there so i can't REALLY understand but i know it was just absolute craziness. but in the most beautiful way (so i've heard!)

i got back to new orleans in time for the big victory parade, which had an estimated 800,000 people in attendance.  CRAZY!  after that, i got swept up straight away in the craziness surrounding the saints victory, mardi gras parades, and re-connecting with friends after being away for so long.  (i definitely believe that mardi gras is one of those things that everyone should experience at least once in life.  most of it is nothing like the bourbon street debauchery that most people think of.  just good, clean, fun.  and lots of plastic beads!)

after alllll that, i'm finally getting back to the normal craziness of life. i'm working a bit and preparing for support raising. i'm excited to share some opportunities for you to join in what God is doing!