Wednesday, January 19, 2011

ready or not!

today is the day...i board a plane for london, and in three days i board a plane for south africa!  it's crazy to think about, especially knowing how long i've been wanting to get back there.  i can't believe how quickly the time has flown by.  i have mixed emotions because as excited as i am about this next step, i'm equally sad about leaving behind all my dear friends and family. but God has shown Himself faithful, so i have no doubt He will continue to do so!

one of the questions i've heard lately is "are you ready?"  and.....hhhmmm.....i don't know!  i mean, at this point, plans are in motion, things are happening, so i guess that means i'm "ready" right?  pondering this question and all its implications reminds me of this quote i read recently in A Chance To Die , the biography of Amy Carmichael, missionary in India in the late 19th century.     

“Looking back after fifty years Amy declared that she was ‘no more fit to be a Keswick missionary than a Skye terrier puppy.’ That estimate never caused her to question the validity of the call—or, we may assume, the judgment of the One who issued it.”  

i feel like that often—i certainly don’t try to fool myself with thinking that i am actually qualified for the calling of God.  yes, i can see how He has made me for certain tasks and environments, perhaps, and i do not doubt that He will continue to equip me for that which he calls me, but i like the image Amy conjures up here.  we don’t go because we are qualified—we go because we are called.  what’s more, our feeling of being qualified may not ever catch up with all that God has done in and through us.  

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next time you hear from me, Lord willing, i'll be checking in from the other side of the atlantic!