my apologies

firstly, let me say i am really sorry for the extended delay in posting. while i'm sure there are only a few of you who have stayed on the edge of your seat awaiting this moment, i do feel bad because it was my intention to be more prompt in posting updates. and, there actually is an update to report.

the meat of the message is this: i have decided to stay in new orleans! i have already been able to see many of you and talk to you about this in person, but i am glad to have the opportunity to share it with those who i have not seen.

as a friend told me last year when i was considering coming to new orleans for a year-long volunteer program, the time for decision would come. and come it did. as of the last update i had several clear options, but really my head was spinning with the knowledge that i could honestly, fortunately, and probably do pretty much anything i wanted to do. i was feeling so overwhelmed for most of the decision-considering process that i was really leaning towards just going back to chicago after this program was finished and taking some time to rest and make a decision, somehow immune to any of the outside influences which might have effected my decision. it was going to be just me and my thoughts. (that's a scary idea...)

all the while, i had been praying and seeking prayer for God to provide clarity, peace, discernment--all those things which seem to make the process less painful and confusing. i kept saying, and wanted to believe, that although i had several clear options i was open to wherever God was calling me.

i cant remember the exact sequence of events, but those are less important than their cumulative product. somehow, my mind began thinking about the staying-in-neworleans option differently than it had before. i began to see things here differently and began to look at the process of decision-making differently. in the end, what it boiled down to was this: i could either go home, to spend time with my thoughts, and look for an opportunity that included urban ministry, involvement with a healthy church body, living and working in the same community, and be near friends OR i could stay in new orleans which included working with an urban ministry, involvement with a healthy church body, living and working in the same community, and being with friends. hm... now, i do not mean to imply that all cities are the same or all urban ministries are the same or that my experience with any given ministry would be the same as the experience i could have in new orleans. BUT it didn't seem to make sense that i would give up what i've been building here for a year to go start somewhere else, with the goal of building something very very similar.

this process has reminded me that crucial lesson--just about the time i want to give up on a place because i dont fit in or havent connected, is right about the time that all those connections or friends i had randomly met start falling into place. just stick around long enough and things will come together. not to mention being a part of the life of a place. if living somewhere for one year gives you a picture of a place, think how much more filled-in and deep the colors of that picture can be when given more time to explore and dive into that place. so, thus was my conclusion to stay in new orleans.

now for the specifics. i will join the staff of Desire Street Ministries in New Orleans and work with several families on the start of a new church in a neighborhood near the Upper Ninth Ward. i have been promised that i will not be spending all my time at a desk...in fact i get to spend time in the neighborhood getting to know families, as well as help with an after-school program and free tax preparation! i will be moving to live closer to this neighborhood with a friend from church.

i am really excited about this opportunity and am glad to have made a decision. of course, many questions and unknowns remain, as is the natural state of life in new orleans these days. but, i have learned that faith means taking a step when you dont have all the answers and trusting that God will provide the ground to stand on at the moment you need it. and it hasn't failed yet!